User:Alex allenby/sandbox

Matthew Pak Hei Poon

Matthew 'Pak Hei' Poon born 1st May 2001 is a well known Covid Warrior in the county of Warwickshire. He successfully fought of the fatal disease of COVID-19 in the space of 2 hours.

Matthew also holds the world record for the fastest time to recover from a dislocated shoulder. Whilst trialing for the U20 Languages Football Team, he was subject to a horrific injury, which should have resulted in months on the sidelines for most people... but not for M. Poon. Having dislocated his shoulder whilst jogging, he took evasive action and clicked it back into place immediately. The captain of the team Alex 'Cake' Matthews said after the game: " Ey up". He later finished his sentence: "I was impressed with Matthew's commitment and desire. Not every player can pop a shoulder back into place whilst trying to function as an inverted Raumdeuter".

He is a voracious gambler, having made untold amounts off the various betting companies in the style of a modern day Robin Hood. He specialises in the technique of 'pequeñas apuestas', meaning 'small betting'. The principle behind this technique is that the gambler should bet no more than 50p in any one bet therefore minimising losses, but also minimising gains.

Poon is also known for his exuberant reactions to goals conceded by Chelsea F.C., most notably when he did a full lap of Kenilworth with a Carling in hand after Chelsea conceded a late Jannik Vestergaard header. He briefly had a relationship with world-renowned wrecking ball, Isobel James.