User:Alexander Collins/sandbox

Early On
The Tale of Ben Barber, is one of many tales involving a man and his search for love. The tale is usually referred to as, "the myth," by its own small fan base. The tale starts off with Ben (born in the year 1600) setting sail to England, from his small town Sicily. His only ambition was to be a pianist, better than all pianist before him. In the peak of the enlightenment period, ben found himself believing in science other than God. His ship was shot down on arrival to England. A passage from his so called diary states... Ben Barbers journal ''I mustn't forgive thy, for I have failed the true almighty god, which should fear I more than I to thy. the cannons burst as dragon spit, all upon I, thy sails on fire. For I had sought to die. To hell I would go, a simple wo, for thy fortune layeth beyond thy reach. For it is not death I fear, but for Sarah, her, I shall weep.'' This poem was found by the monk names, sir. Ethan Maddison, whom thought it had unremarkable meanings beneath it. This was found the year 1720, years after the brutal ship wreck of 1645, leaving Ben "dead". Touched by the genius beyond the diary, Maddison set out to look for his remains. only to find a man I the distance paying his piano on the beach. When Maddison approached the man, he realized it was ben. Confused, Maddison asked him why he was here. Only for Ben in reply to shout, "away with you ogre slime, for it is I who is God, I shall not die." Maddison assumed the man was cursed by the devil, or on some sort of opioid, but wrote a important message down within his own journal. Maddison's Journal ''Hurt, I was, by his strong words against me. But I could feel but a sense of evil fro his eyes. A look of distraught, misery, and terror. I have no more left to do other than to read upon my scripture.'' surprisingly, Maddison did not question the 145 year-old man why he was even breathing.

1800s
Scared. Ben was, as seen in the many diary entries left behind. In the year 1802, Ben admits to starting an addiction to Opium. Ben stayed in home for the mentally unstable until it shut down after 100 years of service, leaving him with no home. Only thinking of her, Sarah, and playing piano he fell into alcoholism as well. Ben believing he was God, wrote a book and left upon a tree claiming that God was still here on earth. This became a religion founded in 1820, known as Mormonism. This is not fact but a mere tale due to the lack of authenticity upon these found diary entrees. This all paid off though, as Ben in the year 1825, staying with Edgar Allan Poe in secrecy as his lover, he came up with the poem The Raven. As Ben was in secrecy since he was over 220 years old, and still vibrant and young, so instead Edgar Allan Poe released this poem for him. After Poe died in 1849, Ben went back to his opium and alcohol addiction. Writing in his diary, ''WHY? why why hwy whu, I love her so much, her she is mine, for I must kill myself, but how, I cannot die. no one can stop me. I'm going to kill the president. I hope Sarah is still alive to see this. I am God, and he is stealing my light!'' As aggressive as that may have seemed, Ben was very racist. So the light that Lincoln took wasn't all he was mad about. Good friends with John Wilkes Booth, he set him up. Telling him to go into the Ford theatre and sit down at the top balcony, where he had said he bought seats. As John walked up there, he noticed the president. Out of no where Ben fires a shot into Lincoln, leaving the gun at Johns foot. John picked up the gun in shock, and criminalized for a crime he did not commit. Bens Diary ''I had got him utterly, best prank of the century. Wait, did I just come up with that word'' Booths Journal ''WTF. I like this word too''

Years after Lincolns assignation, ben was hiding out. He had stayed with Beethoven, whom he was teaching piano. Soon after in the year 1887, Ben founded the fifth symphony, and told his lover Beethoven to publish. Since Bens name is bad news. The rest was history.

1900s
The year was 1910, Ben came out of hiding and traveled to Turkey. In search of imposter God, since he new he was God, he had to kill him. Once in Austria he had thought he saw him, a parade full of people. Bens Diary ''hell, that looked like a worship service to me. Had no clue what would happen.'' Ben fired his round at the man he assumed was being worshiped, and that is when Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated (1914). Blaming it on a small child, ben fled. Ben fled to Germany where he hid for the remainder of World War 1. After World War 1, Germany was in a hell hole of debt. Bens money which he had made as a carpet sales man, had completely depleted in value. Staying with an aspiring priest, and artist Adolf Hitler. He knew he wanted to steer away Hitler from godly ways, since Ben was evil, and he knew he needed money. So with Ben as Hitler's go to man for advice, because of his age and wisdom, he had Hitler start the Nazi Party, and eventually the Holocaust. Which had horrifying affects. Bens Diary ''Half the things I had said were jokes, I did not think he would take me seriously. But aye, I was gonna see how far he actually would take me serious.'' The year was 1945, and Hitler went mad. No longer listening to Ben but carrying out his own orders, as if he was God. But, Ben believed he was God, and Ben did not like when people breached his power. On April 30, 1945, Ben killed Hitler in his bunker after poisoning his family as well. Ben then fled on a refugee boat to America, where he found a new hobby. Ben started making vaccines, since he somehow knew everything. In 1956, Ben found a Polio vaccine. This was not enough for Ben though, he loved music. So he wrote a song, incorporating melodies from several generations, he created hey jude. Some hippie friends of his had terrible music, so he told them to change their name to the Beetles, and to take the songs he creates and to record them. For years Ben was making songs for the Beetles, although, this was the decade of LSD. Ever since Ben helped some Swedish Chemist by the name of Albert Hoffmann, create LSD. He has been taking it religiously. Eventually, the music went out of control, and the band separated. When John Lennon started going on his own without Bens advice, Ben was mad. Bens Diary I created him, I must end him. The year was 1980, Ben assassinated John Lennon. Ben was bored with the same routine, so spastically, he went across borders to Columbia, where he introduced Pablo Escobar to Cocaine. Eventually causing the worse drug problem in America... Ever.

2000s
These years were laid back, after Ben helped found google in the 90s and lived off of dumpster garbage for awhile, it was boring too. So Ben, a normal God, felt the need to be charitable. So decided he would lay low, preferably in a strange dorm at Harvard University. In 2004, he helped Mark Zuckerberg found facebook, but as Mark did to all his friends, he cut him off. Leaving Ben with nothing, at age 404. Few years past, and Ben finally met a Sarah. The one he was looking for, for 409 years had reincarnated. he fell in love instantly, he wrote many songs. But then an evil man came, and stole her from him in 2016, leading Ben no choice, but to erase Sarah from his conscious. He couldn't though, since a Demi-God named Nick, kept bringing her up although he was dying of cancer. Although, he did not die, he was the purple handed God. Ben was afraid of him, ever since Nick saw Bens drunken weakness, he knew Ben could be defeated. After numerous battles, Nick was the victor. Leaving Ben shy, alone, and scared. Some say he even... cried. A real tear fell from the Godly Ben Barber. The year is 2017, writes his final goodbyes. Bens Diary ''I loved her, like hell. More than this cool anime stuff. But it is I, no one else, who I blame. My ways of darkness, have ruined any cast of light which could shed upon me. Her is no longer the her I am looking for, but the bullet in the barrel that shall grant me peace.'' Ben shot himself, and died at age 417. Although, no one found his body, just his diary. There is only one piece of evidence to support he is still alive, a photo, of Ben Barber taken in 2018.