User:Alexaneybold/Crime in the United States/Benjamin.aviles1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) Alexaneybold


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Alexaneybold/Crime in the United States
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Crime in the United States
 * Crime in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

One change that was done in the lead section was provide more updated statistics (2019 now, 2012 before). On a topic where rates are constantly changing year to year, this updated information will give readers a better understanding of the crime rates in the United States. Another good thing in the lead section that this user does is include all of the years that are going to be talked about. However, one suggestion here could be to mention what the rest of the article is about. For example, when I look at the original article, there are multiple sections that are not mentioned in the lead section. So, instead of focusing on the years and statistics portion in the lead section, this user could list the original articles contents section so readers know what the article is going to be about. I believe in this instance two paragraphs is a perfect amount for a lead section. Here is a good opportunity to just explain what crime in the United States entails along with a brief description of the rest of the content in the article.

Content

The Content this users adds is relevant to the topic. As mentioned before, this user updated Statistics from 2012 to 2019 which provides relevance and up to date. For the characteristics of offenders, some potential content that is missing is the behavior of an offender. When I read the section titled "characteristics of offenders" I am thinking about the traits an offender would possess. While you can never go wrong with statistics, providing readers insight on the traits of an offender in this section would be equally as helpful. For example, are offenders more easily angered? Does their environment or people they hang around lead to offending or lead to them being more prone to offending? This user also does a good job addressing equity gaps. More specifically, graphs are shown pointing out arrest rates between genders and among race. As you can see in these graphs, males are more likely to be arrested along with white people. One suggestion here could be to add how many people of each race live in the United States. This could give readers a better understanding of which population is being disproportionately arrested. For example, if black people make up a small % of United States population but are being arrested at a higher rate, this could be a red flag and possibly be an equity gap. More content that could be added are categories for statutory crimes and inchoate crimes. Statutory crimes relate to alcohol and drugs being present in a crime which could lead to more severe crimes being done such as driving under the influence or sex/drug Trafficking. Inchoate crimes are crimes that have not been completed but a legitimate intention or action was done in hopes of completing the crime. By adding these two types of crimes, it gives readers an even better understanding of crime in the United States.

Tone and Balance

The content this user added is neutral. It is written from a strictly informative basis and does not include any biases or controversial information. One viewpoint that is underrepresented are the different areas in the United States in relation to crime rates. Is one area likely to have higher crime than another? Are poverty stricken neighborhoods more likely to be an increase in crime compared to rich neighborhoods. Do certain laws in a state make it more likely crime will occur. By providing Statistics on this perspective, readers could get a better idea of which areas are more prone to crime compared to others. Then, potential connections could be made regarding race and neighborhood relating to crime rates.

Sources and References

All the references here are reliable and include the FBI and United States Department of Justice. The cited sources correlate to the information being provided. Sources that could be added here are peer reviewed articles instead of every source being statistics based. Peer reviewed articles could include articles from the "Criminal Justice Review". This journal is peer-reviewed based and provides information on a wide variety of Criminal justice issues, with one being Crime in the United States. One suggestion here could be switching one of the FBI sources with a peer reviewed article from this journal in order to provide a variety of sources in the article. One source does include historically marginalized individuals: "Violent Victimization by Race or Ethnicity". A peer reviewed article relating to the characteristics of offenders could be beneficial as well. This article could relate to if there are any biological, social and/or environmental factors that play a role in an individual offending or not. In other words, what makes an individual offend? Clicking on all the links, they all work which helps readers in knowing where the information they are reading is coming from and are able to do their own research.

Organization

Overall, the content here is well written. Grammar is good as I see no notable errors in the writing. The added content here is well organized as I can clearly see that the user broke down the changes they intend to make to the lead section and the changes they intend to make to characteristics of offenders section of the original article. The edit summary is also good because it provides a chronological order of the changes the user plans to make. Clear percentages are part of the added content to give readers an idea of the crime rates in the United States.

Images and Media

This user has added content in the form of graphs that help readers better understand the topic. One graph includes the crime rates in the United States in 2019 which splits crimes into two categories: violent crimes and property crimes followed by the rate per 100,000 people in the United States population. Another benefit to having this 2019 graph switched with the original articles 2012 crime rates is the update in population. By having a year that is more recent, the population is going to be more accurate which creates a snowball effect where the crime rates will be more accurate as well. The other graph includes arrested offenders by race, also in 2019. This graph helps readers better understand the topic because it shows which race is getting arrested and committing crime at a higher rate compared to other races. In the added content, this user mentions the FBI. One suggestion could be to add an image showing readers a visual representation of the FBI, similar to the image in the original article of the police cars. This could also help create a distinction between the two agencies. This suggestion could also apply to the other law enforcement agencies that the United States consists of. The user does a good job of citing where the statistics in the graph come from, which is helpful on Wikipedia.

Overall impressions

Overall, the added content improves the quality of the article. By deleting old statistics and replacing it with more recent numbers and percentages, readers could have a better understanding of the extent of crime in the United States. By addressing gender and race, this user is addressing potential equity gaps and populations that may be underrepresented. By providing this information to readers, it opens up the chance to see crime in the United States from a different perspective. One strength is adding in more races besides black and white. Native Indian or Alaskan Native, Asian, and Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander are examples of smaller populations that make up the United States which may result in an underrepresentation. However, people in these racial groups still commit crime so it is important to include these groups when discussing crime rates. Looking through the added content, it is worth noting that there is a huge emphasis on the crime rates of the United States. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, one suggestion here could be to address other aspects/sections of the article as well. For example, content that could be added are visual images of the UCR and NCVS survey. Another improvement that could be made is if the user decides to stick with an emphasis on crime rates, possibly comparing these crimes rates to other countries could be beneficial. Throughout the original article, words are used to describe these comparisons but by adding content in the form of a comparison in statistics can be good as well. One way this could be done is adding a third graph to the added content that is dedicated to comparing major countries to the United States crime rates. It doesn't have to be an extensive list but could cover the major types of crimes in the violent/property crime categories. In conclusion, this added content would be a solid contribution to the article. Minor tweaks and considering the different ways I mentioned above on how to add even more content could take this added content from good too great.