User:Alicemarron/Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005/Ana Swanson KSU Peer Review

Lead

Guiding questions:


 * Alice makes a contribution to the body of the live article, so I have no comments about the lead.

Content

Guiding questions:


 * 1) Yes, very relevant. I think that explaining all of the women who are protected under the law (relationships by marriage, by blood, adoption, etc.) is a great addition to the live article because it does a better job of explaining the law. I think it contributes to the overall article, and more specifically the gaps in the “Scope” section of the live article.


 * 2) Yes
 * 3) No
 * 4) Yes, it focuses on violence against women which is a historically underrepresented topic discussed. I’m curious how the law responds to transgender women in India and if they are recognized under this law.

Tone and Balance

Guiding questions:


 * 1) Yes, Alice does an excellent job with neutrality in her writing.
 * 2) No
 * 3) No, everything looks great.
 * 4) No, Alice is simply stating what the law is about and who it is for.

Sources and References

Guiding questions:


 * 1) Yes, Alice uses reliable secondary sources, but she also had to use primary sources considering that she is writing about a law.


 * 2) Yes, she does a great job of summarizing the information in her own words, which is not an easy thing to do considering that the article is about a law.


 * 3) Yes they are thorough. The sources range from government documents, academic journals, reports, and news articles.


 * 4) Yes, keeping in mind that the original law source is from 2005, but Alice's other sources on implementation are more current.
 * 5) Yes, I believe so


 * 6) No, Alice has a great selection of sources as is.


 * 7) All of them work besides link #5. With link #8, it brings me to the Amazon page where one can buy the book, but I can't read it to check the information. I'm assuming Alice got the book from the library and used this link for her references section.

Organization

Guiding questions:


 * 1) Yes, Alice does a great job of writing in a clear and concise manner with easy-to-read sentences. She does a great job of taking direct quotes from the law that the original live article relies on, particularly in the section about shelter homes, and puts it into her own easy-to-understand words.

The only other recommendation I have for making it easy to read is breaking a long sentence into two. The sentence is in the “Implementation” section and says, “Some of these implementation issues revolve around some districts, such as Odisha…; this implementation gap results in….” I would take out the semicolon and replace it with a period to not make the sentence so long. I recommend doing the same for the sentence that follows later on that starts with, “In most districts,..”


 * 2) The second sentence that begins with, “This law protects not only….” ends with the preposition “with”, which I would try not to do to if you want to sound more formal. Other than that, no grammatical/spelling errors.


 * 3) Yes, Alice organizes the information very well. I think adding the "Implementation" section is also great.

Images and Media

Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media


 * I do not believe Alice added any images or media

Overall impressions

Guiding questions:


 * 1) Yes, the article is more complete with Alice’s contributions. She added the much-needed section titled “Implementation.” This is a key section because it gives the Wiki reader a better understanding of how this law is/isn’t working. Although a country might have a law against gender-based-violence against women, the more important part is how well the government is implementing the law to protect said persons.


 * 2) The strengths of the content added is the easy to-read nature of Alice's writing, as well as her ability to put into her own words the section titled "Shelter homes" that originally relied on quotes with the live page. The article is also strengthened with the "Implementation" section.


 * 3) Again, this contribution is great and needs only a few minor editing changes, which I’ve mentioned above. This is a great addition to the live article, Alice!

Best,

Ana Swanson

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:Alicemarron


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Alicemarron/Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005#cite note-:1-9
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)