User:Allie1414/Interculturalism/Bioarchaeo Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Allie1414


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Allie1414/interculturalism
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Interculturalism

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

The lead has been fleshed out a bit, but I would add another sentence or two to the lead to specifically address the additions you've made to the original article (Interculturalism and Health and Interculturalism and the Law). Nitpicky thing: the last sentence of the lead uses 'ideals' twice in one sentence in really close proximity which sounds clunky.

Content

The content added seems really relevant to the topic and an interesting addition!! I can't wait for more to be added to the new sections because I am super interested to see what you put in!

In the 'Usage' section - the top paragraph should be more of a summary of the subsections to come. The original 'Usage' section seems really Western country heavy, which you are definitely improving with the addition of your 'Health' and 'Law' sections, but I'm wondering if some of the specifics in the lead of the Usage section (ex: the stuff about UNESCO, Canada, etc) shouldn't be moved into a sub-section and a new lead for that section put forth that serves as more of a summary of sub-sections to come?

In the intercultural health section, you cite a bunch of studies that have been done in various countries, but don't summarize any results. I think it would be good in this paragraph to provide very broad summaries of some of the positive impacts of these intercultural health projects (as well as summarize challenges that have been raised through these studies if there are any?).

RE: proposed additions that have not been fleshed out yet - you mention problematizing 'buen vivir', I think it might be good to also include in that sub-section an overview of 'buen vivir' and its usage so far prior to introducing critique (to maintain that more encyclopedic, neutral tone)

What has been added so far is well-written, concise, and well populated with citations!

I'd love to see you add more to diversify the existing 'Further Readings' section, especially with recommendations to gain more exposure to Indigenous perspectives on interculturalism.

Tone and Balance

I think your additions are personally going to improve the balance of the article greatly! Echoing what I said in the content section, if you're introducing concepts with the intent to problematize (ex: 'buen vivir') make sure you neutrally define them first and include examples of positive uses in addition to critiques (again, in the spirit of balance).

I think this article is also still lacking content of critiques of interculturalism (if their are any) - that might fit well in the 'Reception' section?

Sources and References

I think the citations you have so far look really good! Echoing before, I think it would be awesome to expand the 'Further Reading' section. And maybe position it before the 'References' section for added visibility? Though I'm unsure if there is wiki rules surrounding the placement of that section that I'm just unaware of.

Organization

Content, spelling/grammar, and organization so far look good, except for the note I made about the 'Usage' section in the 'Content' portion of this review above! Definitely try to flesh out those points you've yet to expand on!

Overall

I think you've made some excellent additions and done a good job of rounding this article out into something more comprehensive! Can't wait to read the rest!