User:Allstar2302/Keri Wagner

Keri Wagner, Also a noun meaning timeless beauty, arrived from heaven on November 24, 1987. Since then she has grown into arguably the most beautiful woman to ever live. Currently she resides in Tampa Fl where she is working towards her degree in Education from USF. Known for her loving kindness, and a warm disposition.

Current interests: Bring world piece through her dazzling smile, skiing, boogie boarding, giving other countries a chance to view her breath taking glamor. Getting boys very interested in her and then charming them some more. Bringing light into all the children who she teaches' worlds.

Future Endeavors: Travel to Costa Rica. End World Hunger. Go on a Romantic date with Jeff that will with a spectacular kiss that will pull meteors from the sky causing a thousand shooting stars. Become the hottest teacher known to man. Inspire the popular movie "Colorado Pirates" made by Jeff Prater

"Little know facts about Keri'

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 * Keri never has to do laundry because when she wears clothes they become cleaner.
 * She has to brush her teeth only to keep boys from following her sweet breath from miles away.
 * At the end of the rainbow is not a pot of gold but simply Keri.
 * She is so popular that when she signed up for facebook, 150,000,000 friend requests where already waiting. There was only 5,000,000 users at that point.
 * Her biography is already in the making, at age 23 she it is already longer then the encyclopedia Britannica and includes twice as many interesting facts.
 * She was proposed to by 3 doctors, while she was still being delivered.
 * She talked a blind man out of committing suicide...in sign language!
 * The water she uses to wash her hands has been deemed blessed by the Pope and can be used as holy water.
 * She is so hot that leading scientists believe her the both the cause and the solution for Global Warming.
 * She is not physically capable of lying. Words she speak become fact, no matter how ridiculous.
 * She invented gravity so when she is on a date the men she is with won't float away.
 * It is said that the second coming of Christ will be to give Keri away on her wedding day.
 * God did not rest on the 7th day of creation, but it just took him from day 7 till her birthday to create the perfect woman, Keri.
 * Video of Keri can only be shown in slow motion, like in Baywatch.
 * When trying to upload a picture of Keri this error occurred.

Synonyms for Keri: Beautiful, Angelic, Hilarious, Exuberant, Sublime, Booty-licious, Desirable, Smart, Charming, Witty.