User:Allyarice/Christianity and colonialism/T155Ram!! Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Allyarice)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Allyarice/Christianity_and_colonialism?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Christianity and colonialism
 * Christianity and colonialism

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * Content added is relevant to the topic
 * References and topics added are up to date and offer more examples on the effects and change that Christianity and colonialism has done/created
 * Recommend using Grammarly to double check some grammar in the edited places as it helps with sentence structure and flow throughout the article
 * Focus on possibly added recent/modern work and research on the long term impact of Christianity and Colonialism as it has greatly affected indigenous peoples lives in recent times. For example a question you can answer is: Is this still occurring today? Is Christianity and colonialism still effecting the lives of indigenous peoples or perhaps apart of our lives today?
 * Reference authors are diverse and come from different dates, times, and events in history.
 * Content added is neutral
 * Links do work but not all are open access

For your first article body paragraph there is a grammatical error. The word Christians should not be Christians's but rather edited to Christians'. Also change the word into to just in so the sentence flows better. Also great job putting the reference number after the sentence.

The second paragraph of your editing had a great quote that you inserted but at first it was hard to read. I would suggest including maybe the phrase For example in front of the sentence you included or maybe starting off with "The approval for Portugal explorers to venture into new territories was due to their proposals to religious executives, which derived from the idea that "honor and glory will befall not only all of Christendom but also … this most sacred See of Peter."

Third paragraph double check grammar as religious is spelled incorrectly. The tone of this inserted fact is well written as it is formative rather than opinionated. A suggestion to rewrite your last inserted change can be "The Spanish conquerors' ideology, which was motivated by God, gold, and glory, was emphasized by their destruction of indigenous peoples' traditions and cultural items." [1]

Fourth paragraph missing the word were before the word lost in the first sentence. Priest should be priests.

Strengths of the article is that quotes and information on specific events and individuals is included throughout the article to inform and create a fluent flow of facts and references. Weakness would be grammar choice as some words are misspelled or missing grammar edits. Definitely would recommend taking a look at the paragraph describing the effects of Christianity and Colonialism I feel like more can be added with modern events occurring today.

Keep up the good work!!