User:Alwhela1/sandbox

Article Evaluation, Cambridge Five
To preface this evaluation, this article is rated Start-Class and there are no conversations on the Talk Page.

When beginning to review the Cambridge Five article, I was immediately distracted by the first sentence. To start, the article refers to the Cambridge Five as the Cambridge Spy Ring. For consistency, I recommend updating this sentence to say the Cambridge Five, as that is the name of the spy ring.

I identified a content gap in the first paragraph; only four out of the five members are named. The fifth member should be referenced somewhere in this paragraph, as opposed to the third paragraph. Since only four members were originally identified, the potential names and year that a fifth member was identified should be included.

Both the syntax and grammar are mostly incorrect throughout this article. There are many run-on sentences, causing the reader confusion. This is very distracting when reading the article, as it is difficult to identify the point of each sentence.

The 'Membership' section is not set up in the most reader-friendly fashion. The first sub-heading, titled 'Maclean and Burgess', talks mostly about Philby. The article would flow better if it were set up in chronological order by date of major events or a general timeline, as opposed to by member. Additionally, this section jumps around too much between different dates and different people.

When reading this article, I have many outstanding questions, including what intelligence did the Cambridge Five gather during World War II? What missions did the Cambridge Five complete? Where did they primarily operate? Who did they report to? What was their overall role and goal? What impact did they make during the war, if any?

Lastly, there is a lack of citation throughout the article, although the links do work for the sources that are cited. I think more reliable and scholarly sources could be added to support this article.

Camp David Citation- draft
Current Verbatim: Bill Clinton used Camp David more as his tenure in office progressed and hosted British Prime Minister Tony Blair on several occasions in addition to numerous celebrities.[citation needed]

Note: directly pulled from "Continuity of Government: How the U.S. Government Functions After All Hell Breaks Loose"

Updated Verbatim: During the Bill Clinton's time in office, British Prime Minister Tony Blair was among the many visitors that the President hosted at Camp David.

Cambridge Five, Philby Update
Current verbatim: Philby was officially cleared by then Foreign Secretary Harold Macmillan; this later turned out to be an error based on incomplete information and bureaucratic inefficiency in the British intelligence organisations.

Note: Unable to locate evidence supporting second sentence.

Updated to: That same year, Philby was ruled out as a suspect when British Foreign Secretary Harold Macmillan cleared him of all charges.