User:Alyssa736/Fear of needles/Lilagoldman Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Alyssa736


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Sandbox Draft


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Fear of needles

Lead

 * The lead of this article is very brief, so it could be revised to include a summary of the information presented in the article. The info box on the side also has a strange group of information that isn't mentioned later in the article, and it doesn't have a citation, so that should also be considered for revision.

Content

 * I can only see one sentence that has been added to your draft page, but otherwise it looks like you are planning on revising the Vasovagal section. This section has few citations, so it would be good to add more to back up the claims in the section. Also, it might be helpful to briefly define what Vasovagal means. I looked it up in order to understand that section, and I think that information could just be added to the wikipedia article.

Sources and References

 * As I said in the last section, there are not very many citations in the article despite there being a lot in the works cited section. Generally, there should be more citations to back up each claim, but it looks like you're already working on that too.

Organization

 * In this sentence here: "Although most phobias are dangerous to some degree, needle phobia is one of the few that actually kill" I think you should write "that actually kills" or "that can actually kill" in order to make the verb grammatically correct.

Images and Media

 * The article doesn't contain any images, and the draft doesn't either. I think this is probably for the best and should be left as is, because it is common for there not to be triggering pictures in wiki articles about phobias.

Overall impressions

 * I think you chose a really interesting article, and I can't wait to reread it once you have finished editing it!