User:AlyssaKayS/Poverty in Mexico/Alexis Lhotka Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:AlyssaKayS


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:AlyssaKayS/Poverty_in_Mexico?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Poverty in Mexico
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Poverty in Mexico

Evaluate the drafted changes
Main heading one: I feel like this could be simplified (example: "Women, poverty, and immigration"). It is also not in the Wikipedia format for a heading (only the first letter of the first word is capitalized unless it is a proper noun).

Subheading one: Why is there a period?

Subheading two: the possessive on "Mexican's" is not clear. It should be Mexicans' or Mexico's, or you could change it to "Citizenship status," as an example.

Subheading three: Fix capitalization to meet Wikipedia's format.

Paragraph one: Where are these women's husbands and families (the United States? Guatemala? Belize?)? The phrase "hop the border" should be replaced with stronger verbiage. I feel like when you use "many" and "they" in this section could be replaced with "impoverished women" or other more specific nouns. Again, specify which border you are referencing when stating statistics. There needs to be a comma between "this town" and "Cartels have."

Paragraph two: U.S. should be The United States. Who or what is using the phrase "most Mexicans," is it a journal or an expert in this area? Explain spousal visa and maybe add a citation there-- it is unclear what that means. What is Bride and Prejudice? It stands out and seems like it should be explained.

Paragraph three: This section seems especially fragmented, especially in the beginning. "As Drug Lords are all over the border line" is not a complete sentence.

Lead

 * Did not add anything to the lead, but it does not appear to need anything more.

Content

 * Content is relevant, but you should add more information on United States-Mexico border policies from present day.
 * Some missing and out of place content is noted above, but you could add links to Cartels, spousal visas, Ciudad Juárez, and femicide.
 * Content deals with Mexican and Indigenous women and those in poverty, addressing under represented populations.

Tone and Balance

 * The content seems unbiased and neutral.
 * Make sure that if you make claims, you support them with citations.
 * Use a more professional tone in this article, and make sure subjects are clear.

Sources and References

 * There are some issues with the citations on my end with the dates, make sure you have all the information for every citation
 * You could add a few more recent sources
 * The works contain a diverse set of authors
 * Links work

Organization

 * Noted above

Images and Media

 * The images are good, but make sure to place them in a good spot in the article, so it makes sense where the images are placed.

Overall impressions

 * Your draft adds the perspective of asylum seeking women in poverty
 * I appreciate the information on coyotes and the cartels-- this is information the public needs to hear more about