User:Alyssadebragga/Original Starbucks/St3ffsK Peer Review

General info
Alyssadebragga
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Alyssadebragga/Original Starbucks:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Original Starbucks

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hi Alyssa! Here is my peer review:

Lead

A new lead has not been added to reflect new changes. As for right now, I would consider that it is in the first draft. There is an introductory sentence that is clear and concise. It is straight-forward and contains all the introductory information needed for a quick glance.

Content

Yes, the content added is relevant to the topic, it gave more impactful information on history and was specific. Adding a section would be great to give it more organization. I think sections like “History” or memorable events or achievements. The article does not deal with Wikipedia’s equity gaps.

Tone and Balance

The content added is neutral and mostly is about describing facts. There aren’t any bias claims to the topic. So far, the viewpoints seem very neutral. The added content doesn’t attempt to persuade a claim.

Sources and References

I don’t see any citations or added references. I would suggest adding citations and more reliable secondary sources to the references page. Also, adding a hyperlink to certain words like “whole bean coffee” or “tea” or “spices.” I cannot answer some of the questions since there are no new added sources.

Organization

Added content is clear and easy to read. There could be some grammatical improvements in the paragraphs. I think the sentence structure could flow better and the vocabulary could be clearer. More explanations on the coffee beans itself could also be interesting since that is what sets apart Starbucks from other coffee stores.

Images and Media

There aren’t new added images.

Overall impressions

I overall enjoyed reading your added content to this article! It does add more specific details to the history of how Starbucks was made. The strengths of this article is that there are details that are beneficial to the overall summary of the Original Starbucks.

It could be improved by adding more references and citations in the added content!