User:Amandaaaaam/Black feminism/EMILLS31 Peer Review

General info
amanda - Amandaaaaam
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Amandaaaaam/Black feminism
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Black feminism

Evaluate the drafted changes
hii amanda! i love that youre editing such an important article!!! i think the changes youre making are WELL needed for the article, but i almost feel like you could take it a little further? i think you could help out the article ALOT by adding citations. i can see that these arent things that you wrote, but the sources and citations will make the page seem alot less biased

Lead:

im thinking the lead here is really long-- lead shouldnt really surpass 2 paragraphs so im wondering if it can be condensed or if the info should be put elsewhere? i agree with you wanting to take out the paragraph you denoted.

Wondering if " African-American" (here and the rest of the article) should be changed to Black? maybe this calls for a section or explanation of the differences between Black and African-American identities, as well as how the difference between those is a direct need for "Black Feminism"

"Black feminism philosophy centers on the idea that "Black women are inherently valuable, that [Black women's] liberation is a necessity not as an adjunct to somebody else's but because of our need as human persons for autonomy." [i literally cant find this quote anywhere i think the original writer just made it up so maybe just take out the quotes if you cant find the author]

Intersectionality indicates that each identity—being Black and being female—should be considered both independently and for their interaction effect, in which intersecting identities deepen, reinforce one another, and potentially lead to aggravated forms of inequality. {needs kimberle crenshaw citation on this section]

the additions you made to the rest of the body of the piece are really great and all the links you put in help the reader create a more expansive understanding of Black feminist issues. please make sure that when you are writing about people, you are capitalizing the B in Black. noticed this in the NWRO section specifically.

Tillmon mentions how they are a part of starting the Guaranteed Adequate Income (GAI) plan, under the The National Welfare Rights Organization (NWRO) [ needs citation ]

"The Combahee River Collective opposed the practice of lesbian separatism, considering that, in practice, separatists focused exclusively on sexist oppression and not on other oppressions (race, class, etc.)" love this super important inclusion for it's tie-ins to the overall theme of intersectionality in Black feminism

personally i would just rewrite the whole introduction paragraph that previously existed under Organizations. nothing is cited and unless you really wanna take on that task i would just redo it and include that these are just a FEW of thousands of Black feminism organizations in the U.S.

i completely agree with your critique of the pre-existing structure of the Black Feminist Literature section. its pretty unbearable and nonsensical in its current state as you noted. as a suggestion of how to change that structure, maybe take it out of bulletpoint form entirely and focus on the way that the most foundational writings of Black feminist scholars that guide the Black feminist ideals. this way you could include these extremely important written works and spotlight these Black writers, but in a way that makes sense to readers looking to learn about the concept of Black feminism. the original writer of this article apparently didnt like citations very much so unfortunately i think they left you with alot of improvements to make in that field. i dont know if you have the capacity to correct all of the issues with that, but maybe consider just taking some of them out entirely

im not sure i understand whats going on with the "Direct Activism" section, right now it looks like you're naming more literary pieces that fit into Black feminism (?) but im sure whatever u have in mind is more clear!

i think you are only at 4 sources, but after citing a couple more things that need it, i think you should be good on that. the topic definitely relates to course material, as black women and mothers are definitely crucial to the american concept of "home" and its surrounding discourses. i think you could add a little more historical context, but a few of my suggestions referenced ways to do that. even if you dont agree with my specific suggestions, i think theres plenty of room for you to do so in other places in the article.