User:Amarbahadur

THAT RARE BIRD OF PARADISE

Amar B. Shrestha

Friendship is that rare bird of paradise which cannot be bought. Although many try to. Without knowing that the friendship they think they have bought, or gained is not really true friendship.

Real friendship denotes a relationship that is lasting, binding without suffocating, based on mutual trust, and a relationship that can weather any type of storm.

How does one buy friendship? Certainly, there are many ways but the common factor in such friendships is that they are temporary, suffocating, and mutually trustful upto only a certain point. The point where mutual interests and mutual gratifications are commonly shared. Beyond that you can kiss such a friendship goodbye.

Friendships are true only when they are born out of long acquaintance developed through togetherness. Even if this is the jet age one cannot say friends are made the way fast foods are made nowadays. Some things will never change. Friendship is one such thing.

People will go to any length to acquire the shield of relationship they term friendship to please their deprived egos and gain emotional security. Therefore it is ironical that many give undue concession to urgent needs and sacrifice friendships for things of temporary substance. There is nothing wrong with going after things for personal benefits. The only concern is that, friendship should not be the unwitting sufferer. For it is a fact that one cannot have the cake and eat it too. You give with one hand and take with the other. Give anything but not true friendships.

In maturity it becomes difficult to break ground in our endless emotional quest for friendships. So it would be more realistic to value what we have gained in the past and continue to sustain the same. Yes, sustaining is enough, true friendships will not need care and compassion, if it did, it would not be true.

But this doesn’t mean that one can take a devil may care attitude. One has after all a duty to perform, albeit a small one. The duty of supporting a friend when in need. Yes, supporting without the remotest thought of gaining anything in return.

This, then is the litmus test of true friendships.

Try to recapitulate on your performance in this regard. If you feel guilt at recapitulating on certain instances concerning certain people then go back to the act of new sustenance for now you know whose friendship you value.

That is the advantage of true friendships, you can always go back. But this does not mean that one can be complacent. It means rather that one has to put in more effort to perform new sustaining duties. And in this, rejoice.

Rejoice in your good fortune in having a true friend. In true friendships it is not a question of how much or who should be the first to give. If you know in your heart that it is a friend you value, then the question is only of giving and giving. If it is a true friendship, you will be reciprocated in equal measure.

Now go forward and think of the people you are sure will come to your funeral. I can assure you without knowing who you are or where you hail from, or even your standing in this world, that there will not be many you can be sure of.

But of those you are sure of, keep them in your heart and imprison them in your soul.

These are your true friends. Never sacrifice their friendship for anything in the world. These are the people you should treasure and whose relations you should consciously sustain. These are friends who feel for you, hurt when you bleed, rejoice when you laugh.

Treasure them and give them the greatest of priorities. In times when you seek safe harbors, these are the friends you need. Today in maturity you do not have the time, and today in a competitive world you cannot trust enough to develop close associations. Therefore value those you have and be secure in the thought that you have people whom you can depend on.

Friends you can trust your life with, and friends who will never let you down.