User:Ameliaboughn/sandbox

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Practice Editing Here (Nov 15th in-class Wiki session work)

 * Amyloidosis

Task:


 * 1) Find a peer-reviewed journal article on PubMed. Practice inserting your citation in the above space using the "cite" tool
 * 2) Choose one "B-level" medical article on Wikipedia from the following list: https://wp1.openzim.org/#/project/Medicine/articles?quality=B-Class&importance=High-Class
 * 3) Practice editing live on Wikipedia by finding a typo in the text or improving the clarity/readability of a sentence by adjusting a few words in a sentence.

Assignment # 3- please post an anonymous copy here!
Current Sentence: Amyloid deposition in the kidneys can cause nephrotic syndrome, which results from a reduction in the kidney's ability to filter and hold on to proteins. The nephrotic syndrome occurs with or without elevations in creatinine and blood urea concentration, two biochemical markers of kidney injury. In AA amyloidosis, the kidneys are involved in 91–96% of people, symptoms ranging from protein in the urine to nephrotic syndrome and rarely chronic kidney disease.

Proposed Change: Amyloidosis deposits often affect the blood vessels and mesangial regions of the kidneys, affecting the organ’s ability to filter and excrete waste. This can lead to high levels of protein in the urine (proteinuria) and nephrotic syndrome. Several types of amyloidosis, including the AL and AA types, are associated with nephrotic syndrome. 20% and 40-60% of people with AL and AA respectively progress to dialysis.

Rationale for proposed change: The first sentence as the section is now doesn’t clearly explain why and how amyloidosis can lead to nephrotic syndrome. Our proposed replacement (first two proposed sentences) will lay out this connection more clearly. The third proposed sentence explains which types of amyloidosis are most commonly associated with the kidneys, and complements existing information about AA amyloidosis and kidney involvement. We removed the last sentence because the source did not adhere to MEDRS criteria and we couldn't find this information elsewhere.

Area of Controversy: We identified no controversies in this addition.

Critique of Source: The first source is an internal medicine textbook. As a book, one weakness of this source is that it isn’t the most up to date. It was last updated in 2018, but given the length of the publication process its information is not as current as what might come from a recently published review in a journal. The second source supplemented the first source because, to be honest, we couldn’t find much in the academic literature that the average person would have any interest in when it comes to amyloidosis. Most of the information in the academic literature was about advanced diagnostic methods and various genetic markers. We turned to the NIH to provide more relevant information. A weakness of this source is that it is not a formal academic review and therefore may not meet the MEDRS guidelines.

Sources:

[1] Lewis J.B., & Neilson E.G. (2018). Glomerular diseases. Jameson J, & Fauci A.S., & Kasper D.L., & Hauser S.L., & Longo D.L., & Loscalzo J(Eds.), Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine, 20e. McGraw Hill. https://accessmedicine-mhmedical-com.proxy.queensu.ca/content.aspx?bookid=2129&sectionid=192281295

[2] U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (n.d.). Amyloidosis & Kidney Disease. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. Retrieved November 19, 2021, from https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/kidney-disease/amyloidosis.

What to post on the Wikipedia article talk page (part of assignment 3)

 * This will also be covered on Nov 15th in class. Your group should use the below template to share an outline of your proposed improvements (including your new wording and citations). Article talk pages are not places to share your assignment answers. The Wikipedia community will be more interested in viewing your exact article improvement suggestions including where you plan to improve the article (which section), what wording you suggest, and the exact citation (Note: all citations must meet WP:MEDRS)
 * You will not be able to paste citations directly from your sandbox to talk pages (unless you are interested in editing/learning Wiki-code in the "source editing" mode). We suggest re-adding your citations on the talk page manually (using the cite button and populating the citation by pasting in the DOI, website, or PMID). You will have to repeat this process yet again when you edit the actual article live.
 * Talk Page Template: CARL Medical Editing Initiative/Fall 2021/Talk Page Template