User:Ameliamduncan/Roman client kingdoms in Britain/Sarahr26 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ameliamduncan


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Ameliamduncan/Roman client kingdoms in Britain


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Roman client kingdoms in Britain

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Amelia!

''The additions you have added to this article are really good! The lead section gives a clearer depiction of the relationships of client kingdoms thanks to you! I also liked your addition of the subtitles of Northern and Southern client kingdoms. It makes it easier on the eyes to identify the regions discussed. You have also added a really important section about the invasion and start of client kingdoms. It really ties in the two existing sections very well. Overall you additions have improved this article tremendously. I don't know what else to suggest to add for content. However I do have some recommendations concerning sentence structuring below:  -Sarah''

Client kingdoms were rule by client kings, in latin these kings were referred to as ex sociusque et amicus, which translates to "king and ally and friend.

''I would suggest putting a period at the end of "client kings". This will give a variety in sentence length and will flow better off the tongue. Also "rule" should be in the past tense. The word "latin" should as be capitalized.''

The establishment of client kingdoms lead to their annexation when Rome needed to reaffirm their power in Britain or when the client kings could not manage the kingdoms and surrounding areas any more and .

Julius Caesar invaded Britain in 55 B.C. and 54 B.C., his initial invasion was unsuccessful, the Celtic tribes of Britain fought with more strength than expected.

I think this sentence needs to be divided into more than one sentence.

Each kingdom had their own day to day functioning and systems in place to operate in the Roman model as it relates to trading amongst kingdoms, defense and creating a national identity aligned with Roman values

''"Day to day" could be replaced by the word daily and "functioning" should be function. A comma should also be added at the end of defense.''

not considered a conquered Celtic tribe, they accepted the Romans as the governing power.

You could change "they accepted" to "despite accepting"

This action caused unrest in the Brigantia areas of Britain, the people were split between supporting Cartimandua, and by extension the Romans, or supporting her husband, Venutius, and the British rebellion.

of Britain, where the people were split between supporting Cartimandua and the Romans by extension, or supporting her husband Venutius and the British rebellion.

'''lead his own rebellion against the romans and his wife Cartimandua, his supporters eventually forced Cartimandua out of her land in response to her betrayal of rebel hero Caratacus. This rebellion is defeated at an unknown date.'''

''lead his own rebellion against the Romans and his wife Cartimandua, his supporters eventually forcing Cartimandua out of her land in response to her betrayal of rebel hero Caratacus. This rebellion was defeated at an unknown date.''