User:Amelie Pak/Seljuk pottery/Epaulina Peer Review


 * 1) First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?
 * 2) As the article that your working on is a stub, I'll focus on the draft that you have so far in the sandbox. The sources that you have so far look great, and there is a clearly a lot that you can work on. I like the elements that you have chosen to outline so far, and the technology paragraph that you have written is excellent.
 * 3) What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?
 * 4) I honestly think you should scrap what the current page has entirely as it is so threadbare and really only focuses on mina'i technique without characterizing Seljuk pottery in any way. I like the categories you've created, but I wonder if you could move Themes, Motifs, and Style up higher (maybe right after history) as I believe that may be what most viewers are looking for first, with the economic implications being there as a bonus.
 * 5) What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?
 * 6) I really like your introduction but I believe that it may serve better as the beginning of a history section rather than the first paragraph of the article, as it is focused more on the Seljuk empire. If there is any way to sum up what you've learned about Seljuk pottery in a brief few sentences, that would be a perfect intro, as in all honesty I believe that is the most (and sometimes only) read element of a Wikipedia article.
 * 7) Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!
 * 8) You mentioned this in your peer review of mine as well, but our articles are very different -- both definitely need a lot of work to be done, and you inspired me to get my Sandbox in much better shape than it is now.

General info
(Amelie Pak)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Amelie Pak/Seljuk pottery
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Seljuk pottery

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)