User:Ana tomy/sandbox

Overall Review:
-Was confused about organization and felt that it had some content gaps

-The citing and links to other pages was helpful and used through out the article

-Had several references to increase confidence of the quality of information

-On talk page someone mentioned including images and so two were added however the images weren't that helpful. Could use more images or diagrams to explain concepts such as how water movement flows from mouth to slit, or show how they have evolved in different species through images.

-Needs more of a clear definition of what a pharyngeal slit is, how it functions and why that is important (may help clarify some the other sections such as evolution or their relation to vertebrates).

-May have been some incorrect usage of vocabulary when using gill slits, or a lack of clear relationship to pharyngeal slits

-Good sources, and I didn't notice any plagiarism

-I found the quote in the first paragraph distracting and maybe unnecessary

-I didn't notice any bias. It could be that some of the focus on evolution and omission of other content could be due to a preference of evolutionary studies.

Suggestions:
-Main concept gap I noticed was the function and importance of pharyngeal slits. What do they do for the organism? Why does it matter to the overall function of the organism. What IS a pharyngeal slit?

- Including a function section like the evolution section would be better. Maybe even including a section that is strictly about clearly defining what a pharyngeal slit is would be helpful.

-Reorganizing to a more flowing order of sections: What is a pharyngeal slit?, Function of Pharyngeal slit, Evolution of Pharyngeal slit, Pharyngeal slits in Vertebrates, etc.

-Define terms such as filter-feeding and how that relates to pharyngeal slits, gill slits, and also the relationship of respiration to the topic.

Focus on first paragraph:
-Confusing flow

-switches between terms (pharyngeal slit, gill slit, pharyngeal arches) with out explaining relationship

-lacks description of the pharyngeal slit beyond the developmental history (may help with confusion?)

-citations seem good

-quotation that isn't totally necessary but it has a link that explains the quote so maybe that is helpful in supplemental way.

Things I could change or edit:
-change terms to one universal term like pharyngeal slit or add a transition sentence to explain that they are also known as the other terms

-Reorganize sentences to give better flow

-add a general description of the location anatomy and function of the pharyngeal slits in the first paragraph (I will place it after the first sentence so that readers are oriented to what they are reading before the information talks about their origin and similarity to other structures)

First Draft something like this: "Pharyngeal slits are repeated segments that are next to the mouth. They assist in filter-feeding by allowing for water movement through the mouth and out the pharyngeal slits. They also assist in respiration as gills in some chordates."

I want to include repeated in my wording to create flow for the next sentence that refers to pharyngeal slits as "repeated segments." Now that I've written my sentence I will use the comparative anatomy textbook to check my information and cite it.

Second draft: "Pharyngeal slits are repeated openings that appear along the pharynx caudal to the mouth. With this position, they allow for the movement of water in the mouth and out the pharyngeal slits. It's postulated that this is how pharyngeal slits first assisted in filter-feeding, and later with the addition of gills, aided in respiration of aquatic chordates."

Week 4: Group Dissection Assignment
Top 3 Choices for Dissection * Note: Interested in working with Madi Job because we are housemates and could conveniently collaboratively work together on group work and have similar interests.
 * 1) Rabbit: I am interested in learning more about the rabbit because of their speed and agility, and I would like to be able to study the design of their skeletal and muscular systems to see how they compare to humans who are designed for different movements.
 * 2) Skate: I'd like to learn about the skate because of its unique flat body shape, and see how its body morphology has adapted to its lifestyle and benefits its survival.
 * 3) Stingray: Similar to the skate I think it would be interesting to learn about its diamond shape and flat body shape, and how these features assist in their survival.

Possible Articles to Edit

Plantigrade

Digitigrade

Dewclaw

Week 5: Group Game Plan Draft for Wikipedia Contribution
Group assignment: Skate

My topic: Anatomy and Physiology and pelvic fin locomotion

I would like to add to the anatomy and physiology portion of the article Skate (fish). And possibly create a page about a specific part of the skate that I can link to this article.

What the article contains right now: Analysis of Section:
 * A few sentences talking about the skates cartilaginous skeleton
 * placoid scales
 * paired fins
 * movable jaw.

As of now the section talks about these traits in three sentences. It is made up of one subheading titled "External Characteristics." I would like to add more general information about each of these features as well as include more specific anatomy that is common the rays and specific to skates. I think the anatomy and physiology portion is important to orient a reader to what kind of organism they are learning about, and allow them to consider how the structure and physiology relates to other sections within the article such as Behavior and Ecology, Lifecycle, and the comparison of stingrays and skates.

Possible Additions/Improvements: * Side note: Kasey I found a article entry that talks about the reproduction of skates and specifically the egg structure
 * Add links to other wiki articles- such as linking the placoid scale to the article Fish scale that talks about placoid scales in detail, Ampullae Lorenzini, and other features to appropriate site
 * I would like to focus on ambulatory locomotion via pelvic fins, and the recent research that suggest that neural pathway/control for walking evolved earlier than thought based on the pelvic fins studied in skates.
 * Add images from our dissection and label parts for reference
 * Add an Internal Characteristics sub heading to include features such as cartilaginous skeleton, ampullae lorenzini, its electric organs, etc. (which can pair with madi because I believe she is focusing on this feature) and add to the existing external characteristics subheading with more detailed information and mainly images

Week 6: Draft 1
Focus: Anatomy and physiology section in the Skate (fish) existing wikipedia article

For this draft I plan to focus on the external anatomy of the skate in the existing wikipedia article Skate (fish) by adding links, written information and visual images. Madi is going to focus on the internal anatomy, but we are both going to integrate our information and media to improve the anatomy and physiology information in the article. We decided as we dissect we may explore the brain together and see how we might include this into our additions and improvements of the article.

My draft to edit article will include written portion as well as:

-Add photo of skate from our dissection and then use powerpoint to label parts

-maybe a link to a video of a skate using its pelvic fins for ambulatory locomotion

-Madi and I are considering finding labeled drawings/diagrams of the skate's anatomy but we are having trouble finding an acceptable one with out a copy write issue.

Possible addition:

Skates, like rays, have a distinct flat body shape with flat pectoral fins that extend the length of their body. Their body shape and large pectoral fins allow them to glide close to the floor of their habitat in search for benthic prey. Another key external characteristic of the skate is its rough skin made of placoid scales. Placoid scales have a pointed tip that is oriented caudally and are made of the same composition as teeth. The skin texture has been compared to sand paper. Their mouths are located ventrally or on the underside of the body, and are made up of a moveable jaw, also assisting to their benthic feeding style. Skate's gill slits are located ventrally as well, but dorsal spiracles allow the skate to be partially buried in floor sediment and still complete respiratory exchange. Also located on the dorsal side of the skate are the eyes used for the awareness of predators and other surroundings. In addition to their pectoral fins, skates have a first and second dorsal fin, caudal fin and paired pelvic fins. Current research suggests that some species of skates use these pelvic fins to perform ambulatory locomotion (watch a video here) on the water floor. This form of locomotion performed by the skate is being explored as a possible origin for our own development of walking by looking for similar neural pathways used for movement between skates and animals walking on land.

Week 8: Peer Edits
I am peer editing the group working on the Stingray and the group working on the Moray Eel.

Stingray Overall Notes:
-Right now it us unclear what article they are planning to edit or improve. -I think there seems to be equal responsibility/contribution from each person
 * Are they adding to an existing article? Making a new one?
 * I can't totally tell if the information being presented is necessary because I'm not sure what they plan to do with their drafts

-Lots of sources that seem to be good ones -Images/Media -Integration What I will say on their talk page:
 * Try practicing the citation structure that wikipedia uses instead of the parenthetical version some of you have
 * Good ideas for images
 * Schutz suggested using images of our dissection as well as simple drawn diagrams for extra clarity. Maybe you could do this for your anatomy sections as well.
 * Maybe for the locomotion you could like a video? That might be easier to find than a picture.
 * The spiracle portion could be connected to the page already found on wikipedia dedicated to this topic and see what specifics to the string ray could be added
 * I think its a good idea to look at how the addition of an overall anatomy section could have some of the other people's work included such as the spiracle.
 * Nathan and Azana: I am also working on the anatomy section with another member of my group and I've been reading about ambulatory locomotion that skates do (they're similar to sting rays) maybe we could talk about our sections

I really like the information you guys are providing about the sting ray. I couldn't for sure tell what page or new page you guys were planning to add to/create. Maybe clarify this in your sandbox with a sentence or two and a link to the page (or not if you are making a new one) so people can see how it will be integrated into Wikipedia. Another suggestion I had looking at your sandbox was to choose one citation method, such as the number superscripts, so that all of your citations match. I think most of the wiki pages use the superscript numbers so that might be a good idea to work on if you are adding to an existing article.

I think it will be super cool if you add images from your dissection. Our group is hoping to do that too, and Dr. Schutz suggested incorporating dissection pictures with simple drawn diagrams for extra clarity for something like the anatomy section. Maybe you guys could try that!

I noticed in my research looking at the skate (which is similar to the stingray) on wikipedia that there is a page dedicated to the spiracle so maybe you guys could link it somehow to the section you are adding. Also I am looking at a type of locomotion for the skate and the external anatomy in my project, so maybe we could meet up and talk about our sections. I know in the article we are working on there is a section that compares and contrasts skates and stingrays, so maybe we could at least make sure the anatomical comparisons are correct by teaming up and editing that section. I like the idea of making an anatomy section and connecting other peoples sections like the spiracle together!

I just had a couple typos/copy edits:
 * Venom section: 3rd sentence- *Due (not Do), maybe rearrange wording for an easier read (ex. researchers have struggled to test chemical make up of venom due to mucus contamination).
 * Locomotion section: Last sentence *perform (not preform)
 * Anatomy section: Second paragraph- *strengthened (not strengthen), lack [of] a swim bladder, Last paragraph- *placoid (not placid) maybe?

Moray Eel Overall Notes:
-Not totally sure where the evolution and habitat additions are going- Maybe in the same article as the pharyngeal jaw? -Seems to be equal and interesting information presented by the group.
 * Good to know what article, or new article, and what section it might be if in an existing article.
 * Slightly confused about the first Evolutionary section, especially the second paragraph. Is it being added to an existing paragraph? Because I'm not sure this information could stand alone.

-Good amount of sources -Images -Integration What I will say on the talk page:
 * The pharyngeal jaw section did not have anything cited with in the text. I would look at adding those citations so that there isn't any plagarism
 * The sources seem like they are quality, and maybe if they continue to look for sources more information will pop up for there topics or more citations will make the information even more reliable
 * Evolutionary History: it might be cool to have a phylogenetic tree, but also not necessary
 * Pharyngeal jaw: picture from the dissection is a great idea! Maybe also including the picture you have (or something like it) with the dissection photo would be helpful. I like the one you have as a place holder
 * Habitat: I think images of the different habitats would be a good addition. It might be interesting to have a picture of the moray eel in the habitat as well, but I don't think it has to be in it.
 * I'm not totally sure how your topics could integrate together, but you could look at connecting with other pages on wikipedia, like maybe pages about the specific habitats with links like you guys have been doing. I find that helpful when I am reading wiki articles

I think the information you guys are planning to add to wikipedia seems neutral and valuable. It's not clear where the Evolutionary History section and Habitat section are going to added- is this the same article as the pharyngeal jaw section? I think it might help to clarify where you are hoping to add your information. All of your sources seem reliable and of good quality. Nathan I noticed that your draft did not include citations so maybe work on that to show that your information is valid and supported with good sources. I like how each of your sections have links to other existing articles on wikipedia for clarity! I think that is helpful to readers.

Evolutionary History Draft: I think you have good information as a starting point. Is this information being added to an existing section? If not I would keep finding sources so you are able to add more detail so that the information can stand alone. I was confused about the information in the second paragraph and its relation to the rest of your draft. It might just be due to wording or incomplete sentences, but I think it sounds like important information that will make a great addition with more time

Pharyngeal Jaw: I like your ideas for the images you will include, and I think it might be helpful to have a cartoon image similar to the placeholder you have in addition to the dissection pictures you obtain for clarity. It might be interesting to go into detail about the anatomical structure so that the action you are describing is even more clear. I would also work on adding the in-text citations. Also since there is a pharyngeal jaw page on wikipedia, I would just focus on what information you can add that goes beyond that page! Which might come from your future dissection.

Habitat: I think your draft is well organized and has a good amount of detail. Maybe clarify what article this is being added to and continue to see how you can integrate this information to existing wikipedia articles with links or images. Your ideas for images seem like they will be beneficial. It might be cool to see the habitats with the moray eels in them, but I don't think its totally necessary.

Week 10: Expanding Draft/ Draft #2
I would like to look at how I can improve my sentence structure, focus on how madi and I are integrating our information, and see if I should look to add physiology. I also would like to look at the entire article and see if there are sections I can improve with a sentence or two to make the article smoother and more cohesive. We have been focusing on just a few sections so the article might not be balanced. I want to see if I can organize it so that it isn't too lopsided.

Copy of Draft #1 from last Week

Skates, like rays, have a distinct flat body shape with flat pectoral fins that extend the length of their body. Their body shape and large pectoral fins allow them to glide close to the floor of their habitat in search for benthic prey. Another key external characteristic of the skate is its rough skin made of placoid scales. Placoid scales have a pointed tip that is oriented caudally and are made of the same composition as teeth. The skin texture has been compared to sand paper. Their mouths are located ventrally or on the underside of the body, and are made up of a moveable jaw, also assisting to their benthic feeding style. Skate's gill slits are located ventrally as well, but dorsal spiracles allow the skate to be partially buried in floor sediment and still complete respiratory exchange. Also located on the dorsal side of the skate are the eyes used for the awareness of predators and other surroundings. In addition to their pectoral fins, skates have a first and second dorsal fin, caudal fin and paired pelvic fins. Current research suggests that some species of skates use these pelvic fins to perform ambulatory locomotion (watch a video here) on the water floor. This form of locomotion performed by the skate is being explored as a possible origin for our own development of walking by looking for similar neural pathways used for movement between skates and animals walking on land.

Draft #2

Skates are cartilaginous fishes like other Chondrichthyes. However, skates, like rays and other Rajiformes, have a flat body shape with flat pectoral fins that extend the length of their body. A large portion of the skate's dorsal body is covered by rough skin made of placoid scales. Placoid scales have a pointed tip that is oriented caudally and are homologous to teeth. Their mouths are located on the underside of the body, with a jaw suspension common to Batoids known as euhystyly. Skate's gill slits are located ventrally as well, but dorsal spiracles allow the skate to be partially buried in floor sediment and still complete respiratory exchange. Also located on the dorsal side of the skate are their two eyes which allow for predator awareness. In addition to their pectoral fins, skates have a first and second dorsal fin, caudal fin and paired pelvic fins. Distinct from their rhomboidal shape is a long fleshy slender tail. While skate anatomy is similar to other Rajiformes, functional use of features such as their electric organ and mermaids purse create clear distinctions.

Possible sentences for behavior and ecology section:

Their body shape and large pectoral fins allow them to glide close to the floor of their habitat in search for benthic prey.

The position of their ventral mouth helps with their benthic feeding style.

''Current research suggests that some species of skates, in addition to their Rajiform locomotion, use their pelvic fins to perform ambulatory locomotion on the water floor. This form of locomotion performed by the skate is being explored as a possible origin for our own development of walking by looking for similar neural pathways used for movement between skates and animals walking on land.''