User:Anavasquez32502/Nuyorican Poets Café/Nsnoel Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ana Vasquez


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Anavasquez32502/Nuyorican Poets Café


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Nuyorican Poets Café

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead:

The lead in the original article looks good but I like the small edits you're adding as well. I think you could possibly rework the lead to make it more informative about the format of your article as a whole but I also do not see any issues with it. It's concise and descriptive which is perfect.

Content:

I like your addition of the section about Nuyorican poetry and I think it really helps the reader to understand the article as a whole. The small sections you're planning to add on other Nuyorican poetry in popular culture seem informative and helpful as well, hope you can get those books soon. I see no issues with the content and I think you did a really good job identifying where things need to be added and what the article could benefit from.

Tone and balance:

Your writing is amazing to read, but the tone sounds a little too much like an English paper and less like a Wikipedia page. I'm struggling with this myself so it's hard to give good guidance here but I've tried to make my sentences less complex and more straightforward to model Wikipedia pages I've seen already. Especially in your Nuyorican poetry section, the first paragraph is wonderfully written, I just don't think it fits in the Wikipedia style you're going for. It makes the tone less objective despite your sources and obvious citing, just could be misunderstood more easily.

Sources and references:

The source you have seems credible and the two you'll be adding should also be quality sources. I think your Nuyorican poetry section would benefit from a greater variety of sources so that you can cite multiple places that say similar things- making your writing stronger. Additionally, your first paragraph does not cite any information and I think if you were able to back up those claims with a new source the section would be better.

Organization:

Your content is organized well and I especially like how you're continuing with the style of the original article in the popular culture section by saying "In 19__....". I see no grammatical errors or issues with your writing. Organization is great!!

Images and media: N/A

Overall impressions:

Your writing is incredible, just try to stick with the weird Wikipedia tone a little better as it would make your writing seem more objective (even though when I read it I already believe it is). The article would benefit from a greater variety of sources and I even think having more sources you cite that say the same thing would be beneficial. It's a weird point in the writing process so I feel like a lot of these things will be fixed before you finish writing but you have a really good base line and I think you're on the right track for sure. This is just a thought but it goes along with your Nuyorican poetry section: you could also include one on the music and maybe how that influenced music in the area as a whole. I'm not positive on this but I think jazz was booming at the same time and that could be a cool connection and give you more content to include.

Another thing is that the original article is not badly done, making it hard for you to improve upon what's already written. I think if you add more little edits like the one you did in the lead it would improve the article but also adding new sections, like you've already done as well, is super smart. Good work!