User:Anchovyue/Landlessness/Kbruce01 Peer Review

Hey Anchovy,

I found your article to be very interesting, well-written, and coherent. I thought the connection to Indigenous sovereignty and self-determination was well established and especially important. The main concern I have is with the editorializing in some of the passages. As an example, the tone of the introduction reads as a critique of capitalism and land ownership when you use language such as "an excess of what is necessary to rent expensive...". I think this information is valid and useful to present but maybe you could consider adapting your tone to be a little more "objective". Overall, it's a deeply informative article and I don't think there's much of concern but I will include some specific comments below.


 * 1) Your article would benefit greatly from some further subsectioning. Especially for the section on Indigenous peoples.
 * 2) The very first sentence is either grammatically incorrect or just confusing. I think you may need to add a negation to 'access to land'?
 * 3) "Low agricultural productivity is stringent especially in areas with land scarcity such as in certain parts of Asia, where the lower the productivity of land, the more land is required to provide an adequate level of living" ... I've never seen the word stringent used in this context - do mean to say that low ag productivity is prevalent?
 * 4) "Corporate and commercial actors control large tracts of productive land, leaving little to none for the landless and near-landless." This turn of phrase is redundant.
 * 5) "Landlessness is usually also a manifestation of other societal problems such as poverty, hunger, insecurity, powerlessness, and inequality" - how is landlessness a manifestation of hunger? Wouldn't the opposite be more true?

Excellent work. See you tomorrow!