User:Ancientwonder4253/Atum/Transparentv Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ancientwonder4253


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ancientwonder4253/Atum?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * 1) Lead - The "Origins" section does act as a lead, providing background on Atum for the reader. I would just suggest creating a Lead section that talks about a general overview of the entire article. Just give a couple details and points about the rest of the topics covered!
 * 2) Structure - The topics selected are excellent. To me, the current structure is a little confusing but has some flow. I would recommend structuring them a little differently though: starting with Origins, Iconology, Role, and then finishing with Worship. It somewhat gives a description of Atum and then dives into what he is truly for.
 * 3) Balance - The balance of Origins, Worship, and Iconology are great. The section about Role is a bit longer than the others and could be condensed down just a bit. Or, add a little bit to the other three topics to give it a little bit more balance throughout the article! No conclusions were drawn... because it's kind of hard to draw a conclusion about an ancient God from an ancient civilization.
 * 4) Neutrality - Throughout the whole article, there is a constant state of neutrality. As I said before, it's kind of hard to have a bias on a God from an ancient time. Anyways, good work on keeping that neutral tone!
 * 5) Sources -  You're probably aware of 3 of your sources being the same so I won't mention that again. For the 2 that are listed, they are both good and solid sources. The books chosen are great sources for this topic. Just try to include a couple (2 to 3) more sources to really back up all the points covered in your article!

Good work on the article! With a little more work, it will look almost professional!