User:Andrewa/wisecracks

''A few wisecracks that might help lighten VfD and similar battles, by linking to them rather than making the debate overly verbose. I intend this to grow. Unless attribution is shown or disclaimed they are original.''

''Please don't add your own, make your own user page instead! You'll need a userid of course, and this will cost you nothing. Send me a message on my talk page if you like, and I might use your wisecracks too if I like them, or even link to them from here. It's all released under the GPL, of course.''

''The format a bit is patchy you will notice. Please don't fix it, or at least not here. It's the way I think it's most effective. If you think otherwise, again please simply create your own user page. Attributions on the original bits if you use them are hereby requested. Andrewa''

Human
If you make a mistake, don't worry, you're human

If you make the same mistake twice, not a problem, you're normal

If you make the same mistake 1,000 or more times per second, pack it, you're a computer.

cannibal
Flanders: A sequence of yums ran 'round the table: Yum Swann: Yum Flanders: Yum Swann: Yum Flanders: Yum Swann: Yum Flanders: Yum...

- from The reluctant cannibal by Flanders and Swann.

ants
One day I watched ten ants moving a dead earthworm towards their nest. They were behaving in very busy, hardworking antsy fashion.

Two were pulling it towards the nest, one was behind pulling in the opposite direction, and there were three on either side all seemingly pulling sideways in their respective directions. The tenth was on top and seemed to be pulling straight up. But between them, the net force was one antpower pulling towards the nest, and they were making steady progress.

Wikipedia is a bit like that.

And the fascinating thing about those ants was, had I removed any one of eight of those ten, progress towards the nest would have stopped as a result. Food for thought?

Democracy
Democracy is based on the principle that a million men are more likely to be right than one man...

Autocracy is based on the principle that one man is more likely to be right than a million men. Let's have that one again too...

- Lazarus Long, in Time Enough for Love, a novel by Robert A. Heinlein.

prejudice
The difference between a prejudice and a conviction is that you can explain a conviction without getting mad. - Marginal comment in Reader's Digest, date, page and exact wording long forgotten.

(On 10May12 I read the above (exactly as written) in Quotable Quotes in the Nov 77 Reader's Digest attributed to B.M.)

hang in there
don't let the bastards grind you down

Original author unknown, boilerplate nill illegitimus carborundum 

the Theodore Chipmunk theorem
Alvin: We've almost got you, Theodore.

Theodore: Almost doesn't count. That big hole almost got me too!