User:Aneluhh/Gender bias in medical diagnosis/Klw128 Peer Review

Anela Ramos: Gender bias in regards to aging

Peer review by Kennedy Watson

First, I think this section on aging women is critical and overlooked in regards to women’s health. There is great potential with the sources you have included to provide a strong and impactful introduction to this issue. That being said, you did a great job introducing menopause and the physical impacts it has on women’s bodies. However, past that point there are a lot of sources introduced with little guidance on why these sources are relevant to the overall theme of gender bias in healthcare. For example, the introduction of hormone therapy and osteoarthritis are super interesting and should definitely be discussed, but make sure you are explicitly drawing the link between these matters and your overarching theme. (E.g. Why should the reader care if hormone therapy trials were conducted?)

The last two paragraphs are focused on solutions and structural changes that should be made to mitigate the harmful impacts of gender bias, particularly in aging women. I love this addition and think it is vital to propose solutions to problems in order to cultivate hope for change. However, you list off a lot of potential solutions without expanding on any of them. I think it could be worth identifying two or three primary changes that you think would be most impactful to promote gender equality in healthcare and hone in on those. Have they already been implemented elsewhere? Is it possible to introduce these changes for the next generation of physicians? What would be the anticipated impact of these changes? What are some barriers to these resolutions?

In regards to references, when you are describing what menopause is, I recommend citing a scholarly article rather than citing your own wikipedia webpage. It doesn’t increase the validity of the statement if you just refer back to your own work. Furthermore, the WHI hormone therapy article link does not work. Finally, the last two paragraphs have no references. This is potentially fine if there are no other institutions or people who have tested the efficacy of these suggested solutions. However, you should provide more justification as to why you think these solutions are warranted.

Overall, I think there is a lot of potential with this section. It is such an important issue that is rarely discussed. However, I think you need to more directly tie the link between your sources and the theme of gender bias. As of now, the overall point you are trying to develop is a bit unclear.