User:Anemic Walrus/User:PinkGlitterGirl/Rachel Goldberg (Director)/Anemic Walrus Peer Review

General info
PinkGlitterGirl
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:PinkGlitterGirl/Rachel Goldberg (Director)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):N/A

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The lead is concise and accurately describes what the article will be about. It could be slightly expanded-- what is the director best known for?

Content

The content is relevant to the topic and fills one of Wikipedia's equity gaps. As it is a new article, it follows the pattern of similar articles and links to other articles. Including a section in a graph, or a seperate section for awards and nominations could improve the flow of the article.

Tone and Balance

For the most part, the article has a neutral, encyclopedic tone. It also includes a variety of references. However, some phrases could be improved, as they contain a more narrative tone. i.e. "Goldberg began to make a name for herself",

Sources and Resources

The source list is exhaustive and up to date. They come from a variety of authors and perspectives. The sources back up the claims made in the article. Only one link (12, kickstarter) seems to have any issues. Some sections seem to be very closely paraphrased: "In 2015, Goldberg was one of six industry veterans joining the faculty of Chapman University’ s Dodge College of Film and Media Arts..."

Organization

The article could be improved by proofreading and adjusting the headers. Currently, the first order headings like "Career" and "Filmography" are formatted as second order headings. Further, splitting up the "film and television" section into more digestible bits would improve the article.

Some proof reading would benefit the article, i.e. the phrase: "Following her graduation, Goldberg planned to continue working in theatre by collaborating with fellow graduates to independently produce, direct, and star in a 4 part summer series." could be improved by changing it to "Following her graduation, Goldberg continued working in theatre by collaborating with fellow graduates to independently produce, direct, and star in a 4 part summer series."

Additionally, it would be best to change along side to alongside.