User:Angelina lee20/Bulgarian Women's Progressive Union/Purplelily21 Peer Review

General info
(provide username) Angelina lee20
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Angelina%20lee20/Bulgarian_Women%27s_Progressive_Union?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.) Second Review

I can tell you've added more information since the first draft, which is good. I think there are still places that need further revision however, as I've commented in the article below. Some of this is more grammatical, syntax, etc. but there are some areas that are confusing or need more work on the content. This is especially true of the last two sections. I think one of the biggest spots of confusion right now is whether or not the Union still exists? Make sure to clarify this and make sure everything else follows from this (ie make sure tenses are correct, talk about their dissolution or what has happened more recently, etc).

The Bulgarian Union of Progressive Women (Make sure to standardize the name throughout the article. It should match the article title as well) was a feminist political organization, founded in Bulgaria in 1908. The union was founded by Bulgarian feminists including Ana Karima, Maria Dzhidrova, and Sanda Iovcheva. These women were originally founders of the Bulgarian Women’s Union, but their dissatisfaction with the union led them to create the Union of Progressive Women. The union is (was) a progressive movement with the ultimate goal of Bulgarian women's suffrage.

Background[edit]
In 1878 Bulgaria was liberated from Ottoman rule and became an independent state with a constitutional monarchy. When this nation-state building began women’s rights and education emerged as an interest, as it had in Western Europe. This interest and discourse over women’s rights led to the formation of many different unions. However, it wasn’t until 1901 that a coalition of 27 different unions would become the Bulgarian Women’s Union. The Bulgarian Women’s Union would quickly come (came) under attack by working-class women influenced by socialist ideals brought to Bulgaria by August Bebel and Clara Zetkin. They criticized the union for only appealing to the interests of bourgeois women, and not thinking about the fact that working women would not be equal to bourgeois women, even if women gained the right to vote. This coupled with the fact that not every woman in the Bulgarian Women’s Union was actively working towards the goal of women's suffrage led to the creation of a counterpart union. "In 1908 another group of progressive but not socialist Bulgarian women decided to form a separate organization, known as the Union Ravnopravie (Equal Rights) or Suiuz na naprednichavite zheni (Union of Progressive Women)." (Be sure to integrate quotes into your own writing - it should not be a sentence on its own as it is here) Many of the founders of the Union of Progressive Women, such as Anna Karima, Maria Dzhidrova, and Sanda Iovchena, had also participated in creating the Bulgarian Women's Union. The Bulgarian Union of Progressive Women initially generated much controversy as one of the motivating factors behind its formation was general dissatisfaction with the direction in which the Bulgarian Women's Union was moving towards.

Ideological Foundations and Goals[edit]
The Union of Progressive Women was formed as an offshoot of the Bulgarian Women's Union, with a focus on women’s rights and direct political action. Anna Karima and her fellow leaders stressed they were not splitting from the Bulgarian Women’s Union. Rather, they were looking to complement and supplement the Union's efforts by focusing on women’s rights and political action. (How did that differ from original union?) [1]. The Union of Progressive Women was formed on the foundations of equal rights for women, the ability to express their opinions freely, and the ability to exercise their will in government affairs.[1]Karima states (stated) that according to Bulgarian law, women are "lumped in with the worst criminals, the mentally disabled, and minors."[1] In 1909, the Union of Progressive Women petitioned Parliament to amend the electoral laws and allow all women to vote.[1] During this time, Bulgarian law dictated that all Bulgarian citizens could vote. However, citizens were traditionally and customarily considered male, this tradition barred women from exercising a vote. This meant that the union was petitioning for cultural emancipation and not a legal one. A core principle of the union was that they would pursue this change within the society they operated instead of creating a whole new one. They stressed that the union had no intention of tearing apart the family, but that instead the goal of their movement was to help facilitate cooperation between husband and wife by making them equals. This achieved equality within the home would then address socialist women's concerns of working toward equality for all classes and people.

Activities and Influence[edit]
During its existence, the Bulgarian Union of Progressive Women faced many challenges. One of the primary challenges for the BUPW has been overcoming societal and institutional barriers in a traditionally patriarchal society. The organization contended with limited access to resources and political marginalization, while it often faced resistance in its advocacy for gender equality and women's rights.

Despite these obstacles, the BUPW has achieved remarkable milestones (Does it still exist? If not, make sure everything is in past tense). The organization was crucial in promoting women's education and professional development in Bulgaria. It successfully advocated for the inclusion of women in various sectors of society, particularly in areas previously dominated by men. The BUPW was also instrumental in legislative reforms, advancing laws that protect and empower women, such as those against domestic violence and for equal pay. (Can you give some more specific details about what they accomplished? Try to add years and such as well)

Moreover, the BUPW has established itself as a prominent voice in the international arena, representing Bulgarian women in global conferences and forums. This has raised awareness about the issues facing women in Bulgaria and facilitated the exchange of ideas and strategies with international women's organizations, enhancing the BUPW's effectiveness and reach (Specific conferences, etc.).

In summary, the Bulgarian Union of Progressive Women navigated societal challenges and emerged as a pivotal force in championing the rights and advancement of women in Bulgaria. (Don't really need this line)

(Please don't use an acronym for the Unions as they don't officially go by this. Please also provide specific examples of the challenges discussed along with sources. Please also consider adding the unions periodical could go something like this: Along with this main goal the union took many different political stances. These stances and discourses with other groups were often exercised in the unions periodical.)

Aftermath and Enduring Legacy[edit]
The Bulgarian Union of Progressive Women left an inconclusive legacy. According to Maria Bucur, "Women were granted full equality with men after the communists took over in 1944" (Bucur, 2008, p. 114) (Tie this sentence more to the last sentence and section as a whole. Why is that important, what did it mean for the union?). The communist rise to power in 1944 replaced women's unions. The Union would continue to demand for women's suffrage until 1937 (If suffrage was gained in 1937, should go before the part about communism in Bulgaria in 1944. Also, might be better in previous section as it seems like a pretty concrete achievement), when Parliament passed a new election law redefining whom was considered a citizen and who could vote. Though limited to married, divorced, or widowed women over the age of 21, the Union had achieved their first victory. Full voting rights for all women would not be achieved until 1944 when the Communist Party took control of Bulgaria.(Can't find revised version, added some of patrciks work here as it falls more under this category) (This section is a little confusing. First, it's not clear here as well as in other sections whether the union still exists? If it doesn't, when did it dissolve? If it does, what has happened in the decades since their initial formation? Also, both this section and the one before seem to talk about achievements. Perhaps it's best to combine them or make their distinction more clear)

You have some good information in this entry but, overall, it still needs more work. The entry often reads more like an argumentative essay rather than an informational encyclopedia entry, which should be more neutral and not make a specific argument. This is especially true in the background and conclusion sections. Additionally, in a lot of sections, the information you provide is vague and does not give specific example of their beliefs, achievements, etc. Sometimes it feels that you have more information about the Bulgarian Women's Union and less information about the Progressive Union. Some of the sections are rather short and perhaps should be combined with other sections, as they can be repetitive unless you are able to add more substantial details. Your entry should also begin with a lead section that provides the basic/most pertinent information about the organization. While you have some of this information in the background section, you should state it directly first.

I've made comments throughout the entry in parenthesis and in bold. Let me know if you have any questions. - Sara

Background
After Bulgaria began building a nation state in 1878 women's rights and education emerged as an interest for many. This led to the formation of the Bulgarian Women’s Union, a coalition of 27 different unions of the time. However this was certainly not the only union for women as tensions between socialist ideals, brought to Bulgaria by August Bebel and Clara Zetkin, created an environment where working class women did not believe that working with feminists provided them with any benefits. It is within this context that “in 1908 another group of progressive but not socialist Bulgarian women decided to form a separate organization, known as the Union Ravnopravie (Equal Rights) or Suiuz na naprednichavite zheni (Union of Progressive Women). This new union created much controversy as many of its founders had actually founded the Bulgarian Women’s Union, but they were unsatisfied with the direction it was moving towards. The Bulgarian Union of Progressive Women, founded in 1908 and led by Anna Karima, is a watershed moment in Bulgaria's feminist history. This group arose during a period of profound social and political change and played a critical role in pushing for women's civic and political rights. (This background section feels a little more like an essay than an encyclopedia entry. You're not really making an argument about the organization but should provide context and historical background. I think your background information could also be more specific - what was going on in Bulgaria at the time, when was the Bulgarian Women's Union founded and by who, etc.)

Historical Context and Formation
The late nineteenth and early twentieth century saw the rise and growth of women's rights movements in Bulgaria. (Be more specific - how and why? Also this seems to repeat information from the previous section...) The Bulgarian Women's Union, founded in 1901, established the groundwork for this movement. Tatyana Nestorova emphasizes the significance of this time period, stating, "In 1901, the Bulgarian Women's Union was established... [and by] 1939, the union reported over 12,399 individual members," indicating a growing awareness and support for women's issues in Bulgarian society (Nestorova, 1996, p. 520). (This section might be better if combined with the background section, as it doesn't really add a lot of new information)

Ideological Foundations and Goals
The Bulgarian Women's Union split into ideological factions, prompting the formation of the Union of Progressive Women. Krassimira Daskalova elucidates these splits by contrasting a conservative group focusing on education and philanthropy with a radical socialist group pressing for immediate political action (Daskalova, 2008, p. 187). (Are these two factions within the Progressive Union or the original? Unclear. Also, if this is about the original, I'm worried you might have too much info about them and not enough about the Progressive Union) As Anna Karima envisioned, the new Union would "complement and supplement the earlier Union's efforts," emphasizing women's civic and political rights (Daskalova, 2008, p. 114). "Ravnopravie" (Equality), the Union's journal, was critical in disseminating its philosophy and engaging in public conversation. (There's not a lot of information here about their specific ideologies, goals, etc. and I think this section could be expanded)

Activities and Influence
The Union's activities included pushing for women's suffrage and encouraging conversation between different socioeconomic groups. Its impact went beyond activism, as it was essential in embedding feminist philosophy inside Bulgarian society and raising women's rights as a topic of national debate. (Again, not a lot of substantial information here. If you don't have a lot more sources to add more here, perhaps combine it with previous section?)

Challenges and Achievements
The Union negotiated a challenging socio-political landscape characterized by different ideologies and conceptions of women's societal responsibilities. The Union's emphasis on civic and political rights frequently aligned with more conservative elements of the broader women's movement, which called for a guideline on traditional roles and gradual societal transformation.

Despite these obstacles, the Union achieved tremendous progress toward promoting women's rights. (Try to discuss specific achievements as well) Their activities helped to raise public awareness and spark debate about gender equality. The work of the Union was critical in providing a venue for women to express their concerns and goals in a culture where such possibilities were previously limited.

Aftermath and Enduring Legacy
The long-term impact of the Union's advocacy may be seen in substantial advances in women's rights in Bulgaria, particularly in the mid-twentieth century. Maria Bucur said, "Women were granted full equality with men after the communists took over in 1944" (Bucur, 2008, p. 114). (Try to integrate quotes into your entry better. Rather than having a sentence that's almost entirely a quote, try to surround the quote by your own words as well)This landmark reflects the Union's early work and its critical role in influencing the trajectory of gender equality in Bulgaria. (Was the Union directly responsible for this? Be more clear on the connection or impact here)

Conclusion
In conclusion, the Bulgarian Union of Progressive Women was more than an organization; it was a sign of change in a society battling conventional conventions (? This wording is redudant) and new beliefs. Its establishment, operations, and societal influence are critical to understanding the progress of women's rights in Bulgaria. The Union's tale demonstrates the potential of collective action and deliberate lobbying in influencing societal shifts and legislation, establishing it as a pivotal figure in Bulgaria's feminist movement's history. (This conclusion section really feels like an argumentative essay than an encyclopedia entry. I'm not sure you need a conclusion like this for the entry)