User:Annaaguo/Chamorro people/Smercier18 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing user Annaaguo and the article on Chammoro people.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Annaaguo/Chamorro_people?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Chamorro people
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Chamorro people
 * Chamorro people

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I think that the Folklore addition is very interesting to add and will greatly benefit readers interested in learning on the beliefs and have an interest in cultural creation understandings, so I think it should be short but have enough description to keep the reader interested which this draft does an excellent job of. It is clear from the clarity in your writing that you know what you are talking about. I like how your article will make a claim and will immediately back it up with proof supporting it. For example, you said that the Creation story claims that Fu'una gave birth to the Chammoro people and there is proof of that in the villages names which are named after body parts. I think there could definitely be more details as to the specific significance in each village and which ones came about first ( if there is a timeline) or maybe why certain ones were named that specific body part. I think that the second sentence could be changed a little because it does sound a little strange when saying, "altered with each telling." Maybe you could say "In time, the creation story went through a series of modifications due to the complications in passing the story along from generation to generation." Perhaps there could even be images added as to what the villages looked like? I think that you also do a great job in keeping the article neutral, great job on the whole.