User:Anthropologygirl/Double V campaign/Dfod2020 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

anthropologygirl


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Anthropologygirl/Double_V_campaign?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Double V campaign

Evaluate the drafted changes
This article was very well written so far so I am gonna have to be very critical of it. for starters, there are a ton of sources and I suspect that many can be eliminated with more through use of the other sources. also some of the sources are press releases which is something I would steer away from especially since you have so many sources. Also some of the sources were pretty old which could be avoided since you have so many sources. I defiantly feel like the "At Home" paragraph needs some work. very little is mentions about their struggles at home and the section is very short in general. Matter of fact most of the paragraph was talking about what was happening in the armed forces. There was not much content added compared to the original article but it was already a lengthy article to begin with. one thing that was improved upon was the organization of the article. Another thing I noticed is the article had no pictures where the original article did.