User:Aperozo/Kirsten Smith (writer)/Yiyi Gu Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Aperozo


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Aperozo/sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kirsten Smith (writer)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I think your draft is a very nice contribution to the original article. It has a clear structure, balanced coverage, neutral content, and reliable sources.

Your draft is added to the Career section of the original article. And there wasn't a lead paragraph for that section. So, maybe it would be better to add a lead paragraph that could summarize the pre-existing contents and your added contents. In this way, the article would be more clear and organized.

Your added content is neutral and up-to-date, which is really nice. I think the part for "I Do... Not" could be elaborated more since that paragraph is relatively short comparing to the other parts.

Besides the two suggestions above, I think you could also work more on the details. You could add more links to the keywords, for example, Misfit City, Kurt Lustgarten, Naomi Franquiz, etc. With links, it would be easier for readers to find related information. Also, maybe you could add some pictures to make the whole paragraph more engaging.

Overall, I think you did a really good job. Your contents and sources are all really up-to-date and relevant. This is a point which I will apply to my article later.