User:Appletree4life/Chemocline/Marythemuffinlady Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Appletree4life


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Appletree4life/Chemocline
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Chemocline

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead/first sentence explains the topic of article addition clearly.

Content:

- "In this study they showed that the sulfide required by the sulfide oxidizing phototrophs in the chemocline is supplied by the sulfide reducing organisms found in the hypolimnion and the sediment.": I would suggest expanding on this idea, why is this important to know in regards to a chemocline/to the example being discussed? Does this affect the structure/formation of a chemocline? Etc.

- "Here the distribution of ciliates was determined to be highest right in and above the chemocline that is defined by the purple and green sulfur bacteria that inhabit it. The sulphur oxidizing bacteria in the chemocline provides the nutrition that allows the ciliates to survive. The ciliates providing nutrition up the trophic levels.": I would suggest an addition here to summarize why this example is important. Does it show a different type of chemocline? Or does the chemocline affect the productivity of the system due to these particular aspects it exhibits? I think the information is interesting and would be worth keeping if you can create a sentence to tie the idea back into the topic being discussed.

- "These layers have varying microbial communities with varying bacterial metabolic activities that allows for the varying products to be used across the different layers in the aquifer overall supporting the diversity of the microbial communities within it.": I would suggest an edit/addition here to explain the role of the chemocline in regards this statement. Why does/does this affect the chemocline? Does the chemocline effect these metabolic activities? How? If not, may not be necessary to add this whole example. You can always use general information from articles to state aspects of a chemocline without explaining the study conducted in the article.

- "The sulfur oxidizing bacteria in the chemocline facilitates the transfer of the sulfide into the aerobic mixolimnion supporting its community.": I would suggest adding a sentence here to summarize why this matters, such as stating... "Thus highlighting the importance of a chemocline in the overall productivity or health of a lake ecosystem...."

- "Overall, bodies of water that are chemically stratified will allow for the creation of various habitats within the different layers indicating the biological significance of chemoclines along with the microbial communities that make them up.": I love this sentence! I would suggest trying to elaborate more like this in the body of your draft. For example, after you talk about a study/its aspects then add a sentence stating simply how it changed the habitat, created habitat, changed productivity, etc.

Tone/Balance: All content seems to be stated in an unbiased manner.

Sources/References: You are needing at least 6 more sources to have enough information for Wiki to accept the claims in your draft. Once you find more sources it may become easier for you to grasp what is important enough to state in the draft. Also, I would be sure to cite all sentences that refer to information from your articles, even if you cited the sentence before or after. The only sentences I personally didn't cite are ones where I learned the info in previous classes and did not need to look up information again, which might be a good rule to go by.

- Need to add sources into bibliography.

Organization:

- There are some missing commas at the beginning of sentences, specifically after you state an example/article it should be followed by a comma before stating information about it.

- "The ciliates providing nutrition up the trophic levels.": I would suggest to rewrite this sentence, it doesn't seem to flow well & doesn't clearly show the purpose for the sentence.

- "These layers have varying microbial communities with varying bacterial metabolic activities that allows for the varying products to be used across the different layers in the aquifer overall supporting the diversity of the microbial communities within it.": This sentence is too long, may need to split into two sentences or edit it to be more clear.