User:Aprivateperson

About Me
Hello! I'm a student living in the great Pacific Northwest. I play plenty of video games, but the main ones I've recently played are Red Dead Redemption 2, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, and the timeless classic, Minecraft. I don't do much reading, but if I were, I would most likely read sci-fi novels. My favorite Cars character is the V8 bus, Fillmore, who sounded like he was high all the time. One other thing about me, is that I also own a dog. Dogs are also descendants of wolves.

My Wikipedia Interests
I don't see myself being active on Wikipedia in the coming months, but if I were, I would contribute to the Cars (franchise) page, among other Disney's Pixar films. Along with Disneyland, and other theme parks. I may also make small changes, like grammatical errors that are noticeable to the average eye.

Article Evaluation
Over the past two years I've been watching this esports team grow, and they have amazed me tremendously with what they have been able to accomplish in those two years. I visited the 100 Thieves page on Wikipedia, and found three aspects of it worth commenting on: citations, tone, and grammar errors.

Tone
Overall the tone of this page sounds almost like a recap of the team thus far, which isn't really expected on wikipedia. A few examples of this include "For 2019, player Ssumday's contract is extended, and Huhi and Bang join, whilst Ryu moves to assistant position and Cody Sun and Rikara leave" along with, "After this they have to re-evaluate the roster, and loan Priestahh and head coach Crowder from FaZe Clan, with Fero getting benched". I don't believe the entire page would need to be rewritten, just certain parts.

Grammar
Grammar is a big issue on this article. An example includes "After this they have to re-evaluate the roster, and loan Priestahh and head coach Crowder from FaZe Clan, with Fero getting benched". I would reword this as, "After this, they have to re-evaluate the roster. On a loan from FaZe clan, they sign Priestahh and head coach Crowder, and bench Fero. Another one is "The team 7th-8th at the ESL Season 10 Pro League Finals, losing to Fnatic." I would rewrite this as "The team places 7th-8th at the ESL Season 10 Pro Leage Finals, losing to Fnatic".

Conclusion
All in all, I am quite proud of this team, but this page could use some work, with the main focus on citations, tone, and grammar.