User:Arabdhabiswas/Wi-jún-jon/Togu00 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Arabdhabiswas


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Arabdhabiswas/Wi-j%C3%BAn-jon?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Wi-jún-jon

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead is well done in that it elaborates more on the significance of Wi-jún-jon and his roles in history. The topic sentence is well done and concisely summarizes the content of the article. While the lead delves into new information not discussed in the existing stub, the lead doesn't include much information from the existing stub. Overall, I think the lead is a great start. I would include and elaborate more on the information in the existing stub. The existing stub states that Wi-jún-jon has the nickname, "The Light," which may be something to look into. Also the stub states that he was a chief of the Assiniboine tribe which may also be something to add.

The content added is written well. I like how the content is evenly spread through out the sections and how the content is relevant and neutral. The article is organized, but the content is a little lacking. The leadership section discussed how Wi-jún-jon participated in the Fetterman Fight of 1866 and the Battle of the Little Bighorn in 1876. It was also discussed how he was a well respected mediator/diplomat. I would elaborate more on his role in these battles and how these battles were significant; I also think that more detail on these diplomatic accomplishments should be included.

The religious leader section stated how Wi-jún-jon was a participant and became a leader or the Sun Dance ceremony. So far I like what is written, but I'd like a bit more detail on what this ceremony is about. It was stated that the ceremony was a way for "Lakota to connect with their spiritual beliefs and honor the natural world," but is there a story behind this ceremony and what is it? I'd also like to know how exactly this ceremony changed Wi-jún-jon's world view.

Overall, I think that the article is a good start. The information written is new and there is much more information Wi-jún-jon. I think that the article just needs some more elaboration on existing information in the draft.