User:Arieleliu/sandbox

Response to peer review
Ariel:

Thank you to all our peers who reviewed our draft! Thoroughly appreciated your help.

@Thesubtleart: Thanks! I think as for an introduction to the march, since we're updating an existing article, the article already does a pretty good job of that.

@Charlie: Thanks for the catch! Will be sure to adjust to anti-Semitism. We'll be sure to also double check all the tenses to make sure what's happened is in the past tense. I think we'll be considering merging the withdrawal of support paragraphs when we actually put our work into the Wiki article, as it's a little hard to follow right now.

@Cindy: Thanks! That could be a good idea - will keep considering splitting it as we write. On the California section- yes, I think that's a great idea. Thanks for the suggestion.

Hannah:

Hi Lulu, Tory and Emily,

Thank you all for your feedback. You all brought up really helpful points.

First I'd like to address the points Lulu has suggested.

'''Lulu Feedback: I appreciate how you broke your feedback up into sections relevant to the article. For the attendance, I will talk to the group about incorporating more details from earlier in the article to this section. As you suggested, it will help contextualize it more.'''

California: I will read through this section and make sure to simplify it by creating better transitions without removing too much of the important information.

Speakers and Participating officials: I will talk to my group about where this citation is- thank you for pointing this out! Withdrawal of support: '''I like your idea about incorporating the anti-semitic part in another section like the attendance section. I agree it could help with making the article less repetitive.'''

Thanks again for your feedback! I will talk to my group about adding the social media section as well.

Tory's Feedback:

Thanks for your notes Tory! I will talk to my group about making the article less wordy and more straight to the point. I think incorporating your feedback by taking out "According to xyz..." will allow it to be more direct and flow better.

In regard to the anti-semitic section, my group and I will have to further to discuss how to include this. Lulu suggested incorporating it into the attendance section while it could be more beneficial like you said to have it in its own section. This is something we will need to further discuss as a group because I see either option as being a great one!

Thanks again for your feedback.

Emily's Feedback:

Hi Emily! Thanks for your feedback about flow. I agree it could be shortened a bit. After we implement the edits others have suggested, we will make sure that to read aloud and make sure it nicely flows. Thanks for your feedback.

Angela:

Simran’s Feedback:

Thank you for the feedback and assuring that the article has a neutral and unbiased tone. After looking through our new agenda section, I agree with your feedback in that we should be adding more of an explanation for adding the agenda in the first place, so an introductory paragraph or two would probably be needed first.

Women's March 2019 First Draft
Attendance Section:

According to CBS News, controversy over alleged anti-semitism had a huge impact on the attendance of the 2019 Women’s March. In November, Teresa Shook, one of the Women’s March founders, accused the four main leaders of the national march organization of anti-semitism. Controversy of anti-semitism has led prominent organizations, such as the Democratic National Committee, and hundreds of other organizations, as well as few politicians, to disaffiliate themselves with the 2019 Women’s March. Several left-wing activist groups that had sponsored the 2017 Women’s March did not appear on the sponsored list for 2019. As stated by the National Review, some of those groups included, “the NAACP, Emily’s List, NARAL, the National Abortion Federation, the AFL-CIO, the SEIU and its health-care union 1199SEIU, GLAAD, the Human Rights Campaign, Center for American Progress, and National Resources Defense Council”. Additionally, New Wave Feminists, a group against abortion, joined in this year’s march, despite being removed as a partner before the 2017 march. Vox goes into further depth of the controversy, stating how Tamika Mallory, co-chair of the Women’s March, attended the Nation of Islam’s Saviours Day Event, where Leader Louis Farrakhan, seemed to be making anti-semitism comments. Mallory continued to further support Farrakhan, creating controversy within the Women’s March community. As noted by The Guardian, only tens of thousands of participants showed up in 2019, which is significantly less than the initial march with millions of participants nationally. As stated by The New York Times, individuals presented their hesitations of whether they wanted to attend the 2019 March or not, given the controversy of the anti-semitism charges. As to why one individual, Donna McDonough, 69-year-old registered nurse, made the decision as to why she was going to attend the 2019 March, she stated, “I think Mallory should unequivocally boycott Farrakhan but no one should boycott this march. She doesn’t represent the entire organization.”

Grammatical Errors:

“While some local groups are boycotting the march, it will be held in Eureka on Saturday, January 19, according to an article in the Times Standard on January 16, 2019.[47]”

While some local groups are boycotting the march, the march was held in Eureka on Saturday, January 19, according to an article in the Times Standard on January 16, 2019.

==section California

The Humboldt County March scheduled to be held in Eureka, California was cancelled due to the organizers' concern that the March would reflect the population of the County by being, "overwhelmingly white," thereby failing to represent "several perspectives in our community.” However, some community members were unhappy with the decision to cancel the march. July 2018 Census Bureau data reflected that Humboldt County is about 74 percent non-Hispanic white; thus, commentators argued over the necessity to cancel a march whose participating audience’s demographic was reflective of the population. The Eureka march was re-scheduled by a different group of organizers including former Eureka city councilwoman Linda Atkins. While some local groups are boycotting the march, it will be held in Eureka on Saturday, January 19, according to an article in the Times Standard on January 16, 2019.   In response to the cancellation of the Women’s March in Eureka, the Eureka group said it was considering holding an event in March to celebrate International Women’s Day, which is on March 8.

In Southern California, marches had an aura of celebration to them as participants had claimed recent victories in the 2018 midterm election where Republican strongholds such as Orange County had turned blue and elected more women than ever before to Congress.

==section Celebrities

In the Los Angeles march, celebrities such as actress Anjelica Huston, singer Lance Bass and “Modern Family” star Sarah Hyland were seen participating.

==section Speakers and Participating Officials

Representative Katie Hill also took the stage in the Los Angeles March.

==New section: 2019 Women’s March Agenda (will be added above regional marches)

For the 2019 Women’s March, The Women’s March organization, posted an agenda of the goals this year’s march plans to advocate for a month before the event. The organization named it the Women’s Agenda. This is the first federal policy platform the organization has created. The Women’s Agenda was announced the day of the march was posted on the organization’s website. Website viewers have the ability to digitally endorse the agenda. The organization organized 70 movement leaders to develop this agenda that includes 24 federal policies they believe to essential. These policies “form the foundation of the 2019 Women’s March on Washington and will establish the priorities of the movement over the course of two years.” Some of these policies that are prioritized include: ending violence against women and femmes, ending state violence, immigrant rights, disability rights, racial justice, environmental justice and LGBTQIA’s rights. For more in depth information, the organization has provided a 71 page PDF that deeply examines each of the 24 goals. Each of the goal’s section highlights the theory of change that is planned to be used in order to achieve it. Many of the 24 essential goals have more than one policy goal.

Withdrawal of Support

Beginning in 2018, Women’s March began to receive criticisms by different individuals and organizations because of the speculation that some of the leading members of the group were associated with antisemitism. Recently, The Democratic National Committee as well as the Southern Poverty Law Center have joined forces to withdraw their support from Women’s March, which was another blow to the turnout rate of the 2019 marches. Many of the potential participants withdrew from the organization and refused to participate further because of the accusations. Even the original founder of Women’s March, Teresa Shook, agreed with the critics and decided to ask the co-chairs of the group to step down because of their anti semitic beliefs. The fragmentation within the organization as well as critical public views led to the decline in support of the movement especially during the recent marches of 2019.

Women's March 2019
Group members: Ariel Liu, Hannah Dobrott, Maddie Genova, Angela Cao

Our plans for updating the Women’s March 2019 Wikipedia page include incorporating attendance data, new groups joining and others withdrawing their support, and the goals of the 2019 Women’s March and future marches.

First, we would like to include how many people came to the 2019 march versus the initial 2017 march. We plan to add this information in the introduction. The Guardian notes that tens of thousands of participants showed up in 2019, which is significantly less than the initial march with millions of participants nationally.

In the sponsorship section, it is important to add past supporters that have withdrawn support for the 2019 Women’s March in light of the controversy. A Forbes article states that the NAACP and the Human Rights Campaign had planned to withdraw their support for the 2019 Women’s March. Additionally, we also want to add that New Wave Feminists, a group against abortion, joined in this year’s march, despite being removed as a partner before the 2017 march. We also want to include the opinion that the march did not represent all women, excluding the voices of pro-life women, Christian and Catholic women, and more.

We would like to add a section about the goals of the 2019 Women’s March that were put forth by the Women’s March organization itself. The Women’s March website includes an agenda of the work they are advocating for. The Women’s March organized 70 movement leaders to develop an agenda of 24 essential federal policies that “form the foundation of the 2019 Women’s March on Washington and will establish the priorities of the movement over the course of two years. Some of these policies that are prioritized include: ending violence against women and femmes, ending state violence, immigrant rights, disability rights, racial justice, environmental justice and LGBTQIA’s rights. We want to create this section right above the Regional Marches section.

We would also like to address the impacts of the movement as well as the critiques that the movement faced during the last year and how it affected the turnout of the event during the past few month. The movement successfully incorporated social media as a tactic to spread information about upcoming events, dates, and speakers and proved to be a strong unifying force for women all around the country. However, it did face critiques later on, most notably of the organization being anti semitic, which could be the cause of the recent lower turnout rate.

Lastly, in the Regional Marches section, we plan on adding details in regard to upcoming women’s marches that will be taking place in 2019, as well as expanding details on the march that took place on January 19, 2019. There will be a march taking place in Berlin on May 9, 2019, which we will add in the regional marches section. We also plan on revising certain statements whose tenses are no longer correct (i.e. “While some local groups are boycotting the march, it will be held in Eureka on Saturday, January 19, according to an article in the Times Standard on January 16, 2019.

Bibliography:

"A Timeline Of The Women's March Anti-Semitism Controversies - Jewish Telegraphic Agency." Jewish Telegraphic Agency. N. p., 2019. Web. 9 Apr. 2019.

Milman, Oliver. "Thousands Join Women's March Across US As Controversy Dampens Turnout." the Guardian. N. p., 2019. Web. 9 Apr. 2019.

Ramanathan, Lavanya. “Was the Women's March Just Another Display of White Privilege? Some Think so.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 24 Jan. 2017.

Thelilynews. “Women's March Local Chapters Are Distancing Themselves from the National Organization - and Fighting for Its Name - The Lily.” Https://Www.thelily.com, The Lily, 15 Jan. 2019.

"Womens Agenda - Womens March Network." Womens March Network. N. p., 2019. Web. 9 Apr. 2019.

"Women's March & 2019 Sponsors -- Event Loses Top Sponsors | National Review." Nationalreview.com. N. p., 2019. Web. 9 Apr. 2019.

Article Evaluation
Article evaluation

Article: ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

The article is very well-crafted; it maintains a neutral point of view and simply presents the facts of the Ice Bucket Challenge. The citation links all seem to work properly, and they link to existing articles from reputable news sources (Boston Globe, CNN) or sources such as The Guardian or Wall Street Journal. The citations clearly provide specific and exact proof and evidence of the claims presented in the article, with each specific incident of the Ice Bucket Challenge backed up by a news article verifying its truth. The article does a great job of presenting the humble roots of the challenge, and then charting its growth until the challenge reached the president of the United States and other various important people around the world. In this matter, it presents a balanced view of the Ice Bucket Challenge participants. It is also very thorough in detailing the various other causes that the Ice Bucket Challenge participants supported, prior to the shift of the challenge being to ALS. The information in the article is also fairly up-to-date; though this was a challenge that was popular a number of years ago, the article still includes the most recent cases of the challenge in 2018. The talk page was very enlightening; it seems that year after year, there is a group of editors who consistently discuss what noteworthy occurrences of the challenge should be added to the page. That's how the 2018 section came about, with people linking important challenge news on the talk page prior to revising the article. There seemed to be a few small punctuation/grammatical errors in the article (i.e. "Lou Gehrig's disease",), but I'm not sure if these perceived errors are actually related to the way the citations are placed at the end of the punctuation.

Talk:Ice Bucket Challenge

Possible articles to work on
Possible articles to work on


 * 1) Say Her Name
 * 2) Continue to work to make every single sentence in the article completely and entirely neutral (i.e. "Women such as Hattie McCray and the girls of the Leesburg Stockade are mere examples of the violence done to black women at the hands of the police." has an emotional and persuasive component that is improper of a Wikipedia article)
 * 3) Fix grammatical/wording issues i.e. first sentence of section "Historical context": Black women have been common victims of police brutality for over a century, however, their stories are often left out of the narrative.
 * 4) Me Too
 * 5) Fix grammatical errors/inconsistency in wording/perform closer proofreading
 * 6) While describing the backlash as carrying an underlying sentiment of fairness, she defended her movement as "not a witch hunt as people try to paint it".
 * 7) asked in late December 2017 whether he thought the movement had "gone too far".
 * 8) On 11 October 2018 (in previous sentence: On September 21, 2018)
 * 9) although allegations surrounding high-profile public figures tends to attract the most attention
 * 10) Eliminate any biased/persuasive sentences that might be the opinion of the author
 * 11) "Yet to ensure meaningful change, these workers’ experiences must be at the center of any policy solutions that lawmakers pursue"
 * 12) Sex education can also effectively prepare children to identify and say no to unwanted sexual contact before it occurs, and gives parents an opportunity to teach children about consent.