User:ArielleTLevy/Israel–Libya relations/Jnordhoff13 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

ArielleTLevey


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:ArielleTLevy/Israel–Libya relations


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Israel–Libya relations

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

- The lead has not been updated

- It would be helpful to include some information in the lead about Libya's support for Palestine as reasoning for their antagonism towards Israel. Also, the lead states that "There have been no diplomatic relations between Israel and Libya since Libya's independence" but the last section of the Draft indicates that there have been peace talks in place since the 2000's. It would be good to clarify the discrepancy between these two!

- In general, the lead should include more information on the subheadings to explain the big landmarks in the relationship. I assume you know this but just didn't get the time :)

Content

- The content added is very relevant and informative! Nice job!

- In particular, I really like everything you added in about Libyan support for Palestine resistance. Obviously, that's such a huge part of the dynamic of the Libyan relationship with Israel. At times, it is a little difficult to follow the Libya-Israel connection through all of the different support by Gaddafi for Palestinian liberation groups. For example, although it's really interesting to read about Gaddafi's changing ties to Arafat and the PLO, it's sometimes hard to understand how that affects Libya's relationship with Israel.

- The only other thing I would say about the content is that it was slightly confusing to jump from the end of the "Gaddafi's alignment with Palestine against Israel" section to the "Peace Talks between Libya-Israel." I wasn't quite clear (and maybe the existing research isn't quite clear) how Libya jumped from its alignment with Palestine that you talk about to the peace talks with Israel in the 2000's. A clearer explanation of that shift would be helpful.

- I would also make clear the connection with Egypt (maybe through putting it into its own section). In general, I just mean delineating the players in the topic a bit more clearly.

- I think the topic is really interesting!!

Tone and Balance

- The content added seems neutral and well-researched. It does not appear to persuade the reader in any direction!

Sources

- You have a really high quantity of sources, so good job researching!

- I'm not sure if it's your doing or the writing that already existed on the page, but there's a lot of paragraphs full of really reach information that only have citations at the end. I would be careful about these and try to add in more citations, if possible.

Organization

- From a timeline standpoint, I really liked how you organized your article. It's also helpful to have the background of the Libya-Palestine relationship before learning about the current Israel-Libya relationship.

- As I said earlier, it might be helpful to divide your work into more sections to make it easier for the reader to follow. In particular, sub-sections within the "Gaddafi's alignment with Palestine against Israel" would be good. Some possible options include sections for key players, sections for major time divisions, or sections by location of action.

Images

- Images are great!

- The one highlighting President Trump signing the Abraham accords is a little odd since the article doesn't talk about the US. Perhaps a different photo for the Abraham Accords?

Overall, I really enjoyed reading your article and was very impressed with the level of detail you provided. My main points of feedback include:

1) I think clearer organization and signposting would direct the reader and allow them to track the information better

2) Connecting the Palestine section to present-day would be helpful

Nice job!! This is awesome and you've clearly put the work in!