User:Arielleb02/Oak Street/Ajohn128 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Arielleb02)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Arielleb02/Oak Street


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I want to start off by saying you've done am amazing job with citing. I see that you've not only made sure your references were there but you're already taking the time to add the foot notes for it throughout your text. Your introduction is flush. I'd be careful with your use of "you" though. You want to have a neutral tone and the use of "you" makes it a little personal like you're talking to an audience. Although this is for an audience the article is supposed to come from a more quote on quote factual and educational standpoint. I love that you preclude the wonder of what you're going to talk about next. You foreshadow what topics you're going to hit next in your introduction and get right to it.

In your history I'd love to hear more about the impact of commercialism and cars. You mention their impact, but don't go into depth. Maybe such as what important goods were bought on the street or even where other began to migrate. But if you're goal is to keep it concise then I understand where you're going with that section. I'd say the same with your Po-Boy section. You describe and cite the Po-Boy very well. But maybe give some more history on the festival (how it became) and what events are encompassed in the festival. As for the bars and restaurants you added it would be a great idea to try and find wiki pages on them and link them and or even just link the websites.

Lastly I'd encourage adding some media and images. From a draft stand point that's one of the few majors you're missing. Otherwise I say you're doing a beautiful job drafting!