User:Aristatertotle/Independence of Brazil/ThorsTumTum Peer Review

General info
Aristartertotle
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:Editing User:Aristatertotle/Independence of Brazil - Wikipedia
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Independence of Brazil - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think the lead you pasted in from the accompanying article is much better than the current one. Could use a bit of expansion and citations of course but is much more concise and runs along the lines of what a lead should be in my mind. The main issue I found with this article is lack of citations and references, otherwise it seems written fairly well.

There are a couple of spots in the section you edited that I may add explanations of some sort, such as where you talk about the Cortes you could put a small blurb in parenthesis quickly saying what the Cortes was, just to cover anyone who may be reading the article without that kind of prior knowledge. I would say you could almost combine both the articles you have mentioned and come out with a really solid final draft. A lot of the information in the Independence of Brazil article would help expand on the offshoot article, especially with some terms and events that did lead up to this war that are mentioned in the offshoot article but not really explained or substantiated.

The article is solid, I think if you add some more background information on the events leading up to the war for independence and substantiate that information you will be good to go with this.

As a side note, if you can find some images of this event, or maybe the types of boats used for the naval section, I think that would add some substance to the article and provide visual aids of the time.