User:Armgae

Armgae (Latin: armeguesseus) is the product of a dermatological condition resulting in a collection of pus-like substance that accumulates in a bubble or cavity under the epidermis. The basis of this infectious process is usually caused by sleep apnea or cholera and other foreign materials. It is a defensive reaction of the tissue to prevent the spread of infectious materials to other parts of the body.

The organisms or foreign materials kill the local cells, resulting in the release of cytokines. The cytokines trigger an inflammatory response, which draws large numbers of white blood cells to the area and increases the regional blood flow.

The final structure of the armgae substance is similar to the common vegetable jicama (pronounced Chee Key Mah). To remove an armage from the body, one should use the following procedure.

Calculate the exact location of the armgae on the epidermis. Generally an armgae will appear on the left side of right handed people and consequently on the right side of left handed people.

Once the exact location of the armgae has been determined, take an aloe vera leaf and cut a hole in it to the exact size of the armgae.

Place the leaf over the armgae, exposing nothing but the armgae to the open air. Take a fresh clove of garlic and place it over the armgae for 79 minutes. Add sauteed onion, a dash of vinegar and 3 tablespoons of sugar. Following this procedure exactly for 154 weeks will ensure the safe and effective removal of the armgae.

Ignoring an armgae can be fatal. An armgae left untreated can spread to the size of a watermelon and will cause the skin to turn colors as well as cause the body to shrivel up limb by limb.Armgaes must be differentiated from empyemas, blisters, pimples, and other skin mutilations which are accumulations of pus in a preexisting rather than a newly formed anatomical cavity.

Ancient Greeks would customarily preserve their armgaes and dedicate them to their spouse as a dowry. King Ophelious IV was famed to have collected a total of 42 armgaes from his 3 wives Aphrodite, Callidora and Hera who formed them on their left leg just below the femur.