User:Asb0910/Infant respiratory distress syndrome/Drostinatorr Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Bel4247)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Bel4247/sandbox
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Infant respiratory distress syndrome

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead:


 * Good lead into introducing the Epi section of IRDS

Content:


 * Put a closing parenthesis after IRDS in first sentence.
 * Should Infant Respiratory Distress Syndrome should be capitalized before acronyms?
 * Remove G after within in second sentence
 * Get rid of the sentence: The most common risk factors that can potentially cause IRDS. It is saying the same thing twice and it is an incomplete sentence.
 * Try to avoid using the same words several times. Avoid using “and” before ischemia, replace it with a common. You could also potentially put “as well as low birth weight” to help you get rid of the word “and”.
 * It might be helpful/ more organizational to put the percentage numbers before the number of weeks it took.

Tone:


 * Potentially adding another research study into compare and contrast so it is not all from one source
 * Maybe add how IRDS affects developed and underdeveloped countries

Sources:


 * Sources look good and references are in the correct order
 * It is awesome you were able to find such recent sources on the topic!