User:AshleyHurst/Octopus sinensis/AshleyHurst Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Petarzsimic


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * *The draft is the same as the current version of the article, there was no draft in the sandbox:
 * Octopus sinensis
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Octopus sinensis
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Octopus sinensis

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead:

 * The lead has been updated to reflect the new content and summarizes the article
 * The introductory sentence accurately introduces the octopus, but it does lack a citation
 * It introduces the other sections of the article accurately
 * It does introduce potential prey species that are not address later
 * Another sub-section could be added to include the common species of crustaceans and mollusks that are preyed upon

Content:

 * All added content is relevant to the subject
 * All added content is up to date (older references also have additional more recent references included with it)
 * There is no content that does not belong.
 * Maybe if available, he could add information on the overall behavior, or migration if, any.

Tone and Balance:

 * The content is neutral
 * There is no persuasion

Sources and References:

 * All references are from primary literature
 * Sources are current and non-bias
 * All links work

Organization:

 * Sections are broken in accurate places
 * There are some instances of run-on sentences that could be improved with re-wording

Images and Media

 * No new images/media has been added

Overall Impressions:

 * This is a great improvement to what it used to be, and all the information is updated with primary literature, neutral tones and great information
 * There are some instances of run-on sentences that could be re-worded.
 * The best way to see how well something reads, is to re-read or read it aloud, and if you stumble over one sentence then you know to re-structure the way it is written.
 * Add some images/media to improve the article
 * There could be more added on the prey species, even a list of the common species
 * Add in links to other wikipedia sites throughout
 * e.g. South Korea, China, Japan, Carnivore, Crustacean, Mollusca, Common octopus, Paralarva, etc.