User:Assassinyuki


 * WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


 * No longer being used for schooling. Will be used for something else later..... But For Now, Enjoy!

START OFF:

 * HAHAHA! HEHEHE! HOHOHO! Merry Christmas! JK! Happy Easter! And Halloween! Heck, Happy No Shoe Day and Happy Hate It When Your Stupid Computer Freezes On You But Laugh When It Freezes On Your Mother/Brother/Sister Day!
 * (BTW, Your Father Uses a Different Computer Along With Your Cat Named Fish, Your Fish Named Dog, Your Dog Named Mouse, Your Mouse Named Bird, Your Bird Named Hamster, Your Hamster Named Snake, Your Snake Named Bunny, Your Bunny Named Frog, and Your Frog Named Cheese!)
 * We Also Wish You a Happy Take Money From Your Grandparents Day and Butter Up Your Single, Yet Extremely Pretty and Smart Teacher {unless he is male} Day!
 * So See You Next Yesterday and Possibably June!
 * You Are the Weakest Link! Goodbye!


 * PS: Your Refridgerator is Running! GO Catch It!


 * PPS: Your Shoelaces Are Untied! Do the Loop-De-Loop And Pull And Your Shoes Are Looking Cool! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!


 * PPPS: No, This is Not Over. There is a Lot More to Come!


 * I Woke Up One Morning and My Gundrop Button was Missing. I Found it on the Floor and was Like "Not the Gumdrop Button!"
 * Oh No! An Honors Society Abduction! The Aliens are Taking Me for Getting 5 A's!
 * A Lion Wouldn't Cheat on His Wife, but a Tiger Wood!
 * I Caught a Beaver and Named Him Justin. I Caught Another One and Named Him Charlie. He Loved to Sleep on the D-Rugs on the Living Room Floor.


 * Leg-Footsies is When One Person Uses Their Foot on Another's Leg. Foot Hugging is When One Hugs Someone Else's Foot With Their Foot. Yes, These Two Things Are Possible!

Text Prases:

 * OMG! This Not Only Stands For Oh My God, But Also, Only Mega Girls, Over My Grill, Oranges Mangos and Grapes, and Opening My Gifts!
 * We all know that LOL means Laugh Out Loud or Lots Of Love. But It Also Means: Lots Of Losers, Licking On Lollypops, and Looking Over Landscapes.
 * BRB Usually Means Be Right Back, but It Can Mean: Bitches, Rednecks and Bastards or Being Ridiculously Bonkers.
 * Want to know Something Not many Know? ILUF Stands For I Love Ugli Fruit! Yes, Ugli Not Ugly!

Here are some more Text Messaging Phrases:
 * ASAP Means: As Soon As Possible, Or A Stupid Agile Person.
 * CTS Means: Changing The Subject, Creeping The Stores, Chasing Tiny Species, Or Calling Trivial Spies.
 * KIT Means: Keep In Touch, Killing Incremented Time, Kiss Idotic Toads, or Kiwi, Imbe and Tomatoes.
 * NBD Means: No Big Deal, Ninjas Being Dangerous, Or Nuts, Blueberries and Donuts.
 * NP Means: No Problem, Ninjas Partying, Nine Pizzas, Or Nefarious Prince/Princess.
 * NM Means: Nothing Much, Not Mine, Or Nice Muscles.
 * FC Means: Fingers Crossed, Or Fighting Crazies.
 * FOCL Means: Falling Off Chair Laughing, Flying Over Clear Lakes, Funny Orange Children Leaping, Or Freaking Out Certain Lesbians.
 * HIWTH Means: Hate It When That Happens, Or Help! Icy Wind Traveling Heavy.
 * IDK Means: I Don’t Know, In Da Kitchen, Or Insane Domino Killers.
 * ILU Means: I Love You, I Like You, Or Independent Living Unit.
 * SETE Means: Smiling Ear To Ear, Or Several Errors To Erase.
 * SLAP Means: Sounds Like A Plan, Or A sharp blow made with the open hand or with a flat. {I Know! I Just Had To Add the Deffinition Here!}
 * TTYL Means: Talk To You Later, Time To Yell Loudly, Or Ten Thank-You Letters.
 * YMMD Means: You’ve Made My Day, Or Your Mileage May Differ.
 * LMAO Means: Laughing My Ass Off, Laugh My Arse Off, Lick Me All Over, Or Look! Morons Acting Original!
 * WOW Means: World of Warcraft, Work Out World, or An Expression Used to Express Wonder, Amazement, or Great Pleasure.
 * SOTAMNMS Means: Some Of The Above May Not Make Sense, Or Speaking Of The Amazing Monkey Nurturing Many Seeds.....

That's It!

U/F FACTS:
And Here Are Some Useless and Possibably Funny Facts:

If You Thought I'd End the Facts With Something Smart, You Were Dead Wrong!
 * The Japanese word for tall - "takai" is the same word they use for "expensive". This gives new meaning to the term high prices!
 * Ice Cream is chinese food!
 * It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
 * One reason that kittens sleep so much is because a growth hormone is released only during sleep.
 * A cat rubs against people not only to be affectionate but also to mark out its territory with scent glands around its face. The tail area and paws also carry the cat's scent.
 * "Goodbye" came from "God bye" which came from "God be with you."
 * Stress can result in more headaches as a result of the body rerouting blood flow to other parts of the body.
 * The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning.
 * If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
 * A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't.
 * Your statistical chance of being murdered is one in twenty thousand.
 * Whispering is more wearing on your voice than a normal speaking tone.
 * There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
 * The G in 'g-string' stands for groin.
 * Rubberbands last longer when refrigerated.
 * Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
 * Real diamonds can be made from peanut butter!
 * Rice paper does not have any rice in it!

Classroom Boredom:
Bored in Class, Or just want to Laugh Your Heads off? Then Here Are My Top 60 Things to Do When Bored in Class!
 * 1) Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code
 * 2) Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you
 * 3) Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
 * 4) Every time the professor finishes talking clap
 * 5) Talk very fast
 * 6) Talk with an accent
 * 7) Answer questions in a different language
 * 8) Fake spasms
 * 9) Pretend to be scared of everything
 * 10) Draw cartoon characters of your classmates or of the professors
 * 11) Quote Family Guy Or Me!!!
 * 12) Write out a plan on how to conquer the world
 * 13) Pretend to be drunk
 * 14) Tap your feet on the ground loudly
 * 15) Raise your hand for every question your teacher asks you but answer “oh I forgot”
 * 16) Smile the whole lesson
 * 17) When the teacher enters the room give a low bow
 * 18) Pretend to sleep and snore loudly
 * 19) Drop your pen and say “accio”
 * 20) Ask your teacher where the potions room is
 * 21) Pretend you are Harry Potter and your scar hurts
 * 22) Spill your pencil case/box on the floor
 * 23) Pretend to have a photographic memory
 * 24) Fake flashbacks
 * 25) Repeat movie lines
 * 26) Pretend you are a ninja
 * 27) Sing your favourite song
 * 28) Talk to yourself just like Smeagle
 * 29) When the teacher enters the room Scream “next”
 * 30) When the Teacher enters the room ask for a refund
 * 31) On your assignments write very small or extremely big
 * 32) Put some red ink on a ruler, then slash your wrists with it so people think you cut yourself
 * 33) Talk in slang or text phrases
 * 34) Get into a fight with yourself
 * 35) Once the teacher enters the room get the whole class to sing the national anthem {In Tune Or Out of Tune, Either Way Works}
 * 36) Stare at one object in the classroom for one lesson
 * 37) Pretend you are “Susan Boyle” and sing “I Dream a Dream"
 * 38) Touch a Plug and pretend to get electrocuted
 * 39) Make odd animal noises
 * 40) Act like an undercover spy
 * 41) Write down everything the teacher says while repeating what they say
 * 42) Laugh Stupidly for no reason
 * 43) Act as if you were blind
 * 44) Sit on the floor and beg for money
 * 45) Lick your stationary seductively while staring at a person
 * 46) Talk in gangster rap
 * 47) Pretend to chew gum
 * 48) Point out the window and say “LOOK EVERYBODY SPIDERMAN” once every one looks say “oh too late he’s gone now”
 * 49) Play an air guitar
 * 50) Throw paper airplanes
 * 51) Say random facts about people
 * 52) Go up to someone you have never talked to before then tell them “I have this problem for years now I can’t take it anymore”
 * 53) Narrate your life or the teacher's movements
 * 54) Whistle at random things
 * 55) Pass notes to people you have no interest in
 * 56) Rhyme the last words of everybody’s sentences
 * 57) Play paper football
 * 58) Search in your bag/binder for things you don’t have
 * 59) Attempt to Find Nemo
 * 60) Find a better thing to do than find 60 things to do when bored

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???

Dear Dad:
Dear Dad:

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

''Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Randy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together.

Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it? ), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?

Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter, Rosie.''

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO".

Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

''PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home.

I love you!

Your loving daughter, Rosie ''


 * This is in an alliance with User:Yuki-kyo-kira!

So the CC Members in Yuki's Contest has found me! I am God's Voice. (ok not really. I am using the page belonging to my Life Partner.) So, time for some fun! MWAHAHAHAHA! Random Question: Waht is my fvorate tinhg to eat on carkcres? Random Answer: 19/11/9/16 2/5/1/20/'/19  Kyoko