User:AssertiveClatter/Heterologous expression/Ahoumani01 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

AssertiveClatter, Emilyyao01, Reika22


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:AssertiveClatter/Heterologous_expression?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Heterologous expression

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * This group needs to pay more attention to their sentence structure because it impeded my understanding of the main points. For example, the following paragraph is structured poorly: "Depending on the duration of recombination in the host genome, there are two types of heterologous expression. They are long-term and short-term (temporarily, stable) respectively. Long-term is overexpression of gene and short-term is a temporary modification made to a gene which lasts for a day to 3 days."
 * I would avoid the numbering points in the introduction. I am confused by what the numbering is for as it doesn't relate to the two types of heterologous expression. Furthermore, the explanation of "techniques to isolate specified genes" and "techniques to incorporate genes" are very poor and confusing even for somebody who possesses a moderate-high understanding of heterologous expression techniques. I think these numbered points should be moved to the methods because they do not belong in the introduction. I doubt a non-expert would be interested in reading about heterologous expression techniques in the introduction.
 * The introduction is good but very similar to the introduction currently published. I know it is difficult, but try to change it up or at least rephrase parts of it.
 * For further reference, consider adding a wiki link for transient expression, homologous expression, gene gun delivery, viral transduction, electroporation, lipofection,
 * The sentence "Genes are subjected to heterologous expression ... require heterologous expression" is repeated three times in the introduction, methods, and host systems. This should be used just once.
 * The length of each of the sections is justified and contains information relevant to the section heading and heterologous expression. I like how the methods section was separated by each applicable method. Instead of one big paragraph for the other sections, consider breaking up the paragraph according to the main ideas.
 * No figures were used in the rough draft. I am not sure why they were omitted, maybe this group was planning on adding them later. I definitely think adding figures will help with comprehension. Figures would fit well in the Methods, Host Systems, and Applications section.
 * The applications behind heterologous expression reach far beyond drug development. I think the applications section needs to be expanded.
 * There are no ChemDraw figures in the article, I do not believe they are necessary.
 * There are >10 references in the text with lots of journal sources referenced but not many non-journal sources.
 * When introducing abbreviations like LPS, first introduce the full unabbreviated name.
 * "This system secretes and glycosylated proteins, while introducing proper protein folding and post translational modifications. The cost of production for this high because of the slow growth and expensive nutrient requirement."
 * glycosylated --> glycosylates
 * the phrase introducing proper protein folding does not need to be explicitly stated
 * avoid using words like this, that, thing, etc. be specific when referring to the use of mammalian cells for recombinant technology
 * Overall, the content presented in this draft is really high quality. The information is accurate and relevant to the topic. Concepts to work on include grammar, sentence structure, paragraph structure, presentation of ideas, included use of figures, addition of non-journal sources, and an extension of the applications section.