User:Assumption25/Dysfunctional family

MY EDIT

Title change from Dysfunctional Family to How Family Trauma Effects Adult Children

Specific examples[edit]
In many cases, the following would cause a family to be dysfunctional:


 * Families with older parents or immigrant parents who cannot cope with changing times or a different culture.
 * A parent of the same sex never intercedes in father–daughter/mother–son relations on behalf of the child.
 * Children who have no contact with the extended family of their mother or father due to disharmony, disagreement, prejudice, feuding, etc.
 * A family with one or more rebellious children at whom parents are chronically angry, wherein non-rebellious children have to "walk on eggshells" to avoid spillover effects of the parents' anger.
 * An intense rift, extending beyond mere disagreement of opinion to personal animosity between family members regarding ideology (e.g. children's disagreement with their parents' religious beliefs; a family member having an abortion while other members sharply object; parents who support their country being at war, while children do not.)

'''MY EDIT: This section of the article is extremely insensitive and has language that could be seen as harmful for certain populations. I would reword the article like this:'''

'''There are certain times where families can become dysfunctional due to specific situational examples. Some of these include difficulty integrating into a new culture, strain in the relationship between nuclear and extended family members, children in a rebellion phase, and ideological differences in belief systems.'''

Laundry List[edit] The Laundry List is core literature of the program Adult Children of Alcoholics. It comprises 14 common traits of an adult child of an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family:

"We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others. We became addicted to excitement. We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue." We have "stuffed" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (denial). We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us. Alcoholism is a family disease, and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors."

'''MY EDIT - The first issue that I have with this section of the article is that it is comprised in a list format. When information is put into a list it tends to make it extremely informal and can make it seem of less value and importance. I also do not find it necessary to list every aspect of the Laundry list, rather there could be paraphrasing included. I would recommend reworking this section into a paragraph format:'''

'''The program "Adult Children of Alcoholics" includes something labeled as a "Laundry List". This list has 14 different statements that relate to being an adult child of a parent with an alcohol addiction. These statements provide commentary on how children have been affected by the trauma of having alcoholic parents. Some highlights of the statements include, "confusing love and pity", "having low self-esteem", and having a "loss of identity". The Laundry list is a helpful tool in group therapy in order to show families that they are not alone in their struggles.'''

MY EDIT

After the "effects on Children" section - add two sections labeled: "Positive Outcomes" and "Resources and Hope"

"Positive Outcomes" Sources: https://bandbacktogether.com/master-resource-links-2/family-resources/adult-children-of-dysfunctional-families/ (ideas -- not real source), https://academic.oup.com/hsw/article/22/3/201/593640?login=true

'''Although there are many negative outcomes that came come from growing up in a dysfunctional household, the brain can be able to produce positive ones as well. As discussed in the article, "Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families", resilience is something that can come out of these obstacles in children's lives and make for a brighter future. Resilience is defined as something positive that is able to be brought forth from negative experiences in childhood. (Resilience in Adult Children of Alcoholics: A Nonpathological Approach to Social Work Practice). This refers to the ability for children who go through many hardships with their parents growing up to be able to take those hardships and learn from them in order to develop better coping strategies and find meaning in their futures. For example, when children find themselves in a dysfunctional family life, they may take the route of either isolating themselves, or reaching out for help. When children reach out for help, they can develop resiliency over time by fostering positive relationships with guidance counselors, or other trusted adults that will continue to stay strong after they become adults themselves.'''

'''Resilience is also something that can be strengthened through community settings and positive interactions with others. A dysfunctional family can create a large amount of trauma for children that they may carry into their adult lives. Although different families may create different types of trauma for children, the way that trauma is processed is very similar. When children are able to bond and help each other through the process of dealing with trauma, they can find comfort, which in turn promotes resiliency. What trauma tends to do is make people feel like there is something wrong with them, and they should keep themselves away from the rest of society. This is why recognizing that one is not alone in their struggles is an extremely powerful thing.'''

"Resources and Hope" Source: https://adultchildren.org

'''The organization Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) serves as an extremely useful tool in providing support for people who come from a dysfunctional childhood where their caretakers suffered with alcoholism. What the ACA does that is extremely powerful is hold a twelve step program that is designed to create emotional healing in adult children. By doing this, the program sees the adult children equally as worthy as help and support as the people in their families who faced the alcoholism themselves. There are multiple kinds of meetings that the organization holds in order to bring resources to all different groups (women, men, LGBTQ+, teens, young adults). These meeting settings also have different formats, so that people can be met where they are in their individual healing journey. For example, one could view a guest speaker's presentation before they go into any formal counseling. This is an important aspect to the resource of meeting's, because some people feel too overwhelmed by certain settings to even begin the process. It is better for a person to join the organization at all, than to be too nervous to go to a full-blown meeting and be turned away forever.'''