User:AstariaP/Sweet Tooth (TV series)/Frankiefoyjames Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

AstariaP


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:AstariaP/Sweet Tooth (TV series)


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sweet Tooth (TV series)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

You picked a super well-developed page, which of course comes with its own challenges. As far as I can tell, you've started to add the new section "article draft" with the following:

"After a global pandemic kills millions, 10 years later there is a new race of human beings emerging as a new variant of the virus. However this new hybridization causes more fear than it does hope as the world is frantically trying to figure out if this new strain is deadly."

I really like that change, as having an overall summary for the series as a whole is helpful (the page has a premise, but you seem to be doing something beyond that here). My only suggestion is to maybe streamline your first clause, so "Ten years after a global pandemic kills millions, a new race of human beings emerges as a variant of the virusa" or similar.

Neat topic!

Frankiefoyjames