User:AstariaP/Sweet Tooth (TV series)/Gisselolzba Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I'm reviewing AstariaP's article.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:AstariaP/Sweet_Tooth_%28TV_series%29?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sweet Tooth (TV series)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

There was no change in the lead.

Content

The plot summary/premise is fairly shortened, and I don't think it was necessary to cut so much. I did find the details, like Jepperd being a former football star, to be useful. The wikipedia article could be strengthened by integrating elements of draft to the original text (instead of reworking it entirely). For example, the last line "While Gus attempts to find his mother, the story follows their trial and error as they travel together, and Jepperd protects Gus from unsuspecting foes that await them in distant places." would be a great last sentence like it is in the draft.

Adding a separate section on how the TV show was based on a comic book was a good choice since it is only mentioned once in the lead. I didn't see any changes in the description of the episodes, but it could use it. (Wikipedia also suggests shortening the episode recaps.)

Tone and balance

The tone is neutral and unbiased.

Sources and references

The sources are reliable and the links work, but they aren't properly cited. Most of the citations are near the end of the sentences, but not quite. This may be in part because the draft isn't entirely finished, so a quick run through would solve it.

Organization

The article draft is organized and clear. It does not deviate from the original article's format. There are a few grammar errors, like the capitalization of "Comic" and there are a few commas missing here and there. For example, "However this new hybridization causes more fear than it does hope as the world is frantically trying to figure out if this new strain is deadly."

Images and media

There are no images. I wouldn't know what images to suggest.

Overall impressions

The changes are minimal, and there is still some work to be done. This draft can be further expanded and tweaked to strengthen it.