User:Astebbins/Foster care/Cierracardenas Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Astebbins


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to article HERE
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to article HERE
 * Link to article HERE

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

First off, your contribution to the article is great! You begin your article by providing a clear outline of how the foster care system is run by NGOs rather than being run by the government - this is a helpful way to distinguish between governmental powers and NGO work. In the sentence directly after the LEAD, I would suggest writing a transitionary statement or a new subhead to explain that within the foster care system there are a lot of controversial ideas (of course maintaining a neutral stance) but I think pointing to that gives the reader a better sense of this work. An example of this:

Concerns within the foster care system:

(Begin paragraph)

Benefits of the foster care system:

(Begin paragraph)

I have seen other wikipedia pages do something like this and I feel like sometimes it is easier to understand the full scope of the topic if it is just organized differently. I liked that you provided in depth information about the overall concerns of the foster care system particularly in America.

I do think that because the initial section is under the "US" portion of the page, it could give a few sentences about how NGOS became the main organizers of this system in the first place - in other words, why is it not run by the government?

You make great use of your sources as well! The article contribution is really well done and super in depth, especially the last contribution about how the foster care system is linked to race.

The viewpoints are clear and concise with great use of sources!

I know that this is a very sensitive topic but maybe there could be room for some photos?