User:AstroWiki143/History of neuroimaging/TheBrapHeardAroundTheWorld Peer Review

General info
AstroWiki143, Cherry.Paint, Explorepsych, Mirmir77, TheOneCheese
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:AstroWiki143/History of neuroimaging
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello,

Below I will be giving you all constructive criticism on your article and how you can improve it.

Lead: I noticed that you open the article with a section title "What is neuroimaging?" it is standard on wikipedia articles that the lead paragraph doesn't include a title since the lead is about the topic as a whole. I also noticed that you use the pronouns "us" and "we", wikipedia articles are not written in a second person voice because we are just simply trying to present facts to readers and not addressing them directly helps with that purpose. While the simple explanations in this paragraph are intuitive and easy to understand to the common person, I believe that you need to talk more about what's in the article. Currently, this paragraph simply just explains what Neuroimaging is and what its purpose is. Would it be better for the reader to expect as to what this article will discuss as opposed to going into it mostly blind? If these small changes are made, you will have a comprehensive and easy to understand lead paragraph that is the same quality of a lot of Wikipedia articles.

Body: In the X-Ray paragraph, I noticed some things can be added. In the beginning of the paragraph when talking about the discovery of X-Ray, it would be helpful if you explained how exactly X-Ray was a step towards modern neuroimaging technology. I also noticed that you explain at the end of the paragraph of what types of disease are not detectable on X-Ray. Does this information contribute to the understanding that X-Ray is a from of neuroimaging? In your "Air Ventriculography" paragraph, you carry over from the last paragraph. While this is not a bad thing, you should tie the beginning of this paragraph with the last on by first having a brief restatement of what you last talked about in the last paragraph. Overall, I don't have too much a problem with the later paragraphs, as they seem to be nice and self contained. Perhaps you could close off this article by talking about future technologies and latest developments in the field of Neuroimaging.