User:Athene1963/Evaluate an Article

Which article are you evaluating?
Tosa Mitsuoki

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
I chose this article as Tosa Mitsuoki is a Japanese artist whose art I have been researching since undergrad. and have continued to study into my graduate career.

Evaluate the article
My initial impression is the article does provide an overview of Mistuoki's life, work, and style; however disparities exists between the Japanese and English version and has been oversimplified for a Western audience. The page's references are lacking links to credible sources nor do the articles references engage with in-text citations. Information is organized chronologically and ends up disconnected from other categories. Some categories seem to have overstated importance, suggesting they are of greater importance, while categories on equally important topics are wholly missing and should be added..

Lead Section
The lead section is a bit disjoined. Important figures are missing, some related information is present but the articles are not linked. Sentence's are wordy and could benefit from better word choice to improve flow and clarity. Ideas discussed later in the article are poorly hinted at in the lead section. Bibliography box needs more expansive pertinent information regarding Mitsuoki's life and family.

Content
The article's chronological layout beings in the middle of Mitsuoki's life in the mid 17th century with the section "Reclaim to fame" and completely disregarding discussion on Mitsuoki's early life, upbringing, or his relationship to the family art school. General disregard and outdated ways of considering Japanese painters/painting can be seen within the writing concerning later generations (this discussion should also be moved to the "After death" section as it does not directly pertain to Mitsuoki's life and work). Discussion regarding the interaction between the Tosa art school, Mistuoki, and the political/cultural elites of his time is missing from this section.

The following category, "After Death", appears to be titled in a way that could mislead leaders. Focusing very little on the impact of Mitsuoki, the section takes an oversimplified broad look at the Tosa art school interaction with competing art schools and the development of the later Tosa art school in the Modern era. Dividing this section into multiple categories would increase the focus of the writing. This category appears to restates information that later sections discuss in greater detail and might warrant removal or integration into these later sections.

The following category on "Style" appears to be the most complete and well researched, with most of the sources listed in the Bibliography and references section pertaining to this category. However, no in-text citations indicate to the reader where the information is being sourced from. Once again, General disregard and outdated ways of considering Japanese painters/painting can be seen within the writing.

The category on "His Works" is pathetic in its representation of Mitsuoki's works and warrants heavy revision on the works listed and the addition of more widely know and accessible works. No images/links to distinguish Mitsuoki's works.

Tone and Balance
With out proper citations it is difficult to distinguish between what is a claim resting on the author's assumptions and what has been researched but left uncited from the bibliographies and references. An example, "The lack of innovation produced many scrolls that could be seen as done by Mitsuoki himself." does not give proper attention to the practice of art schools in Japan during this time period and bases this claim on the assumption that they worked in a similar fashion to Western or the contemporary art school. These claims need to be cited or edited for clarity.

Sources and References
None of the sources or references are cited throughout the article. As such, it can only be speculated on where the information of the article comes from. Nearly all of the limited number of sources are outdated, with the majority being more than 30+ years old. Better, more up-to-date sources are available and should be used to update this article. There are no sources for the names of works, nor does there exist a "further readings" section for this article.

Organization and writing quality
The article has numerous issues, from organization to grammar and style. Most notable is the overgeneralization of Japanese painting and art school practices that leads to inconsistent organization centered on chronology of the articles topics. Other generalized issues do exist and negatively impact the articles quality.

Images and Media
There are no images or forms of visual media, nor is information provided on how to distinguish Mitsuoki's works from his peers. No pertinent information is provided via the articles Talks page.

Overall Impressions
The article is in need of a lot of work in revision and updating information. The "Style" section seems to be the most well structured and original focus of the article. All other sections are in need of some form of revision to strengthen their focus and better balance the article as a whole. Some sections are missing key contemporary ideas, while others are poorly researched or formatted and leads to the article feeling poorly developed overall.