User:Audlz/Chen Mingxia (1940-Present)/Cliopentimento Peer Review

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Audlz
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Evaluate the drafted changes
Good work with your entry. This is a solid start. There's a lot of room for improvement. Your entry will benefit from much more specificity and clarity in a number of places. We don't actually learn much about the substance of the legal measures Chen Mingxia proposed. That needs to be included. It also seemed as though there was repetition of some central information, and that needs to be streamlined. I'm going to make suggested edits and pose questions in the below in BOLD ALL CAPS. (And words in [bolded brackets] I suggest deleting.)

Do you have any information about her life before her activism as a legal scholar?

Consider distinguishing your Chen Mingxia with her birth year rather than "(1940 - Present)" especially since "Present" is always going to be changing. I suggest using this as the title instead: "Chen Mingxia (b. 1948)"

Why are the references replicated at the bottom of the page? Also, MAKE SURE TO ENTER ALL CITATIONS MANUALLY

Chen Mingxia
Chen Mingxia, born in 1948, [WHERE?] is a Chinese Feminist who was AND REMAINS [/is] active in promoting women’s legal rights IN CHINA(?). She is also a professor who [was one of the leaders who] initiated an anti-domestic violence project which eventually developed into the first large scale women’s NGOs in China, Stop Domestic Violence. [Chen Mingxia,] AS A scholar and activist, CHEN MINGXIA emphasized that domestic violence against women was not only a private matter but a collective issue and infringement upon the human rights of women in China. She urged the importance of legal and social action against domestic violence, and demanded recognition of this harm against women as a public matter that threatened the stability of society as a whole. [TIGHTEN THESE LAST TWO SENTENCES WHICH ARE A BIT REPETITIVE]

Legal Scholar Contributes and Educational Background
Chen Mingxia is a women’s rights legal scholar and researcher at the Institute of Research at the China Academy of Social Science. Through her passions towards gender equality and awareness of domestic violence, she also became a Professor of Law at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences. WHEN? AT THE UNIVERSITY, Chen Mingxia [at the University,] took initiative as a leader through drafting gender equality laws WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAWS SHE DRAFTED? and establishing the Domestic Violence Network. BRIEFLY EXPLAIN WHAT THIS IS AND WHEN SHE ESTABLISHED IT In the Domestic Violence Network, Chen Mingxia served as a chairperson on the executive council. She utilized her legal background to promote the amending of gender equality and domestic violence, protective laws. She utilized her legal background and education to promote the doctrination of these two laws based on women’s human rights. Her main objective was to promote the safety of women across all grounds. (THESE THREE PRECEDING SENTENCES ARE VAGUE AND UNCLEAR. EXPLAIN PRECISELY WHAT HER LAWS SOUGHT TO DO AND WHETHER THESE WERE ACTUALLY ENACTED) Mingxia extended her activism through providing training programs IN WHAT? and venturing to India with other female activists where she provided education on the created network of domestic violence. ("PROVIDED EDUCATION ON THE CREATED NETWORK OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE" IS VAGUE AND ALSO DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. BE MORE SPECIFIC AND CLEARER) As a women’s rights activist and legal scholar, Chen also advocated for educative protective rights (WHICH WERE WHAT? BE PRECISE AND SPECIFIC) but ultimately focused her efforts towards domestic violence awareness and gender equality rights upheld by law. ("GENDER EQUALITY RIGHTS UPHELD BY LAW" IS REPETITIVE AND UNCLEAR. DO YOU MEAN "ENSHRINING GENDER EQUALITY IN THE LAW"?)

General Work in the Gender Equality Space
Chen Mingxia has worked closely with the All-China Women’s Federation (ACWF) (Milwertz 647). USE PROPER CITATION AND DEFINE WHAT THE ACWF IS BRIEFLY. Specifically, in collaboration with the organization’s local branch in Qianxi County, Hebei Province, Chen Mingxia spearheaded the implementation of informational programs on gender equality and the enforcement of the Law on the Protection of the Rights and Interests of Women (Zhang, Qin 146). WHICH WAS WHAT? AND WHEN? This campaign included training courses, performances, and the distribution of educational materials for both government officials and village residents, with an emphasis on the information’s accessibility to the illiterate and those lacking higher education (Zhang 146) THROUGHOUT CHINA OR IN SPECIFIC PLACES?. Chen Mingxia and her cohort of activists were able to print and distribute 10,000 pamphlets on the law and its application, and reached an audience of over 60,000 in their entertainment performances based on real cases of gender-based violence and inequality. [need to convert citations] THIS IS THE FIRST MENTION OF ENTERTAINMENT PERFORMANCES, EXPLAIN WHAT THEY WERE

Work in the Anti-Domestic Violence Movement in China
'''RE-WRITE THIS SECTION BELOW BY LEADING WITH CHEN MINGXIA. WE LOSE SIGHT OF HER HERE. CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT BUT REMEMBER YOUR ENTRY IS ABOUT HER. LEAD WITH HER, AND FILL IN CONTEXT WHERE APPROPRIATE AND NECESSARY.'''

'''ALSO REMEMBER YOU ARE WRITING A HISTORICAL ENTRY. DO NOT WRITE IN THE PRESENT TENSE IF YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT THE PAST. AND IT IS NECESSARY TO INCLUDE YEARS FOR ALL MAJOR EVENTS.'''

The anti-domestic violence campaign in China, which included discussion/fights against gender violence, is largely marked by the founding and impact of the Network/Research Center for Combating Domestic Violence (the DVN). '''TELL US WHEN AND WHO FOUNDED IT. DID CHEN MINGXIA FOUND THIS GROUP?''' The Stop DV Network is China's largest woman NGO, which has fought domestic violence issues in China by running nationwide governmental gender training workshops. Such "gender training" projects include educating community leaders on how to manage incidences of domestic violence, discussions with different groups regarding domestic violence perpetrators and victims, and educating institutions and universities on feminist legal theory. Chen Mingxia’s background as a legal scholar of the Law Institute, China Academy of Social Science and her contributions to many anti-domestic violence and women’s rights initiatives, including establishing a grassroot legal aid program in Qianxi County, Hebei Province, '''WHEN DID SHE CREATE THIS GRASSROOTS PROGRAM? THIS SEEMS IMPORTANT AND SHOULD BE HIGHLIGHTED''' led to her being appointed as chairperson of the DVN’s executive committee. '''WHEN? WHAT YEAR?''' The DVN’s main goal is to comprehensively address domestic violence through legal advocacy and change.

Specifically, they advocate ADVOCATED--WHEN WRITING ABOUT THE PAST USE THE PAST TENSE for change using amendments to the Marriage Law of 2001 and Law on the Protection of Women’s Rights and Interests. WHEN DID THEY DO THIS? As Chairperson of DVN and as a part of the expert committee for the legislation, Chen Mingxia was able to leverage her influence on the drafting of the amendments for both laws. '''AGAIN, IT IS NECESSARY TO EXPLAIN THE LAW AND WHAT HER AMENDMENTS WERE. ALSO, IS THIS REPEATING INFORMATION YOU SHARED ABOVE? THERE SHOULD NOT BE REPETITION OF SIGNIFICANT INFORMATION. CHOOSE ONE PLACE TO''' She brought her scholarly knowledge, overall goal regarding women’s human rights, and perspective regarding NGO s into her contribution on the expert committee. She wielded significant influence in the historical breakthrough within China’s legislation, as these amendments were the first (and currently only) of the national government to explicitly prohibit domestic violence. AGAIN YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN MORE SPECIFICALLY WHAT THE AMENDMENTS WERE/SAID/DID, CONCRETELY, AND WHEN THEY PASSED CONGRESS However though these laws were major breakthroughs, there remains much criticism from modern feminists of the vagueness of the wording in both laws and their inability to give tangible aid and protection from actual cases of domestic violence.

Books Written or Co-Authored by Chen Mingxi
Chen has written and co-authored books specifically utilizing her professional expertise in law to underscore her activism in domestic violence advocacy. (THE PURPOSE OF HER BOOKS IS TO UNDERSCORE HER OWN ACTIVISM IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? I DON'T THINK THAT'S WHAT YOU MEANT. REWORD THE SENTENCE) Chen has authored five books on law since the 1990s, covering topics on labor, marriage, and family law. LIST THE BOOKS OR INCLUDE A LIST OF HER WORKS AT THE BOTTOM OF HER PAGE--LOOK AT OTHER WIKIPEDIA ENTRIES TO SEE HOW THIS IS DONE. Her contribution to the journal Violence Against Women Volume 5 was published in 1999. IN THIS ARTICLE (?) Chen stresses the importance of state intervention in mediating domestic violence, which Zhang WHO? argues bolsters the larger body of literature discussing methods to prevent and address domestic violence. Besides her own work, she has contributed to larger publications such as the book Holding Up Half the Sky: Chinese Women Past, Present and Future published in 2004. '''BE CLEARER ABOUT THE NATURE OF THIS CONTRIBUTION. THE AUTHORS INTERVIEWED HER AS AN EXPERT IN FEMINIST POLITICS AROUND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE? In her excerpt WITH AUTHORS ___, she argues for a comprehensive social law to support individual rights within the family construct, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?''' claiming that it is a state’s duty in line with the Constitution and legal provisions to address domestic violence, which Zhang emphasizes is the key element of her work.