User:Audreymccarthy/Evaluate an Article

Chosen Character from Inferno 1-28: Ciampolo

Lead sentence has Ciampolo's named in bold, as well as other names provided to him. First sentence describes him as a "character in Dante's Divine Comedy;" I would rather this sentence say Ciampolo is a character in Dante's Inferno, as to specify to the reader that Ciampolo is either sinner or some other spirit in Hell (in this case, he is the former).

There is no lead "section," only one sentence before summarizing his appearance in Book XXII of Dante's Inferno. There is no table of contents.

As for whether the lead is concise, it does include all information mentioned on the page in a clear concise manner. The writer stressed that Ciampolo "is the accepted name" as a connection to the page's final section, where the origin of his name is discussed. This is because Ciampolo is not explicitly named by Dante.

The only source the page draws from is the original text as featured on the Dartmouth Dante Project, a reliable source where each translated and edited version of the Divine Comedy has been uploaded with commentary. It is up-to-date, but only draws from the primary source text on the Dartmouth Dante Project (as explicitly mentioned on the page).

The page could include some information drawn from secondary sources as well, such as medieval commentaries or historical documents. Benvenuto da Imola's commentary on the Divine Comedy is an example of further information the writer could add to the Ciampolo Wikipedia page.

As for tone, there were some adjectives and nouns in the summary section that could use adjusting to sound more neutral. "Grafter" is a noun to describe the sinners who are guilty of barratry; "corrupt deals" is a term used to describe what they did during their living years. The use of these phrases implies slight bias towards Dante. Even if Dante wrote the Divine Comedy, its summary and analysis on Wikipedia should be neutral.

There are no vocabulary errors, but there are a few grammatical fixes that could be made (example: breaking down sentences that are too long). There was also a link to the word "wastrel" which I found unnecessary because it could be replaced with drunk, irresponsible, etc.

The painting of Ciampolo escaping the Malebranche encapsulates Ciampolo very well but the caption could use some work. There is no period at the end of the description, and no source of the painting's title or name of an artist.

Other than being categorized as "stub-class" and "low importance" on the various WikiProjects the page is part of, the Talk Page is empty. Overall, I'd suggest the article is short and incomplete. There is plenty of room to add more secondary and tertiary information on interpretations of Ciampolo, rather than simply summarizing his origins (there is little information on this) and what he does in the Divine Comedy.

Which article are you evaluating?
(Ciampolo - Wikipedia.)

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
I chose Ciampolo because I enjoyed his character in the Divine Comedy. Although he is not as spiteful towards God as Capaneus in Book XIV and Vanni Fucci in Books XXI and XXII, Ciampolo is one of the few souls who still maintains a sinful nature and will use it to his advantage instead of lamenting and wishing to repent. Ciampolo was manipulative, both in his life as a barrater, and in death as a schemer who used Dante and Virgil to evade the Malebranche.

Evaluate the article
Chosen Character from Inferno 1-28: Ciampolo

Lead sentence has Ciampolo's named in bold, as well as other names provided to him. First sentence describes him as a "character in Dante's Divine Comedy;" I would rather this sentence say Ciampolo is a character in Dante's Inferno, as to specify to the reader that Ciampolo is either sinner or some other spirit in Hell (in this case, he is the former).

There is no lead "section," only one sentence before summarizing his appearance in Book XXII of Dante's Inferno. There is no table of contents.

As for whether the lead is concise, it does include all information mentioned on the page in a clear concise manner. The writer stressed that Ciampolo "is the accepted name" as a connection to the page's final section, where the origin of his name is discussed. This is because Ciampolo is not explicitly named by Dante.

The only source the page draws from is the original text as featured on the Dartmouth Dante Project, a reliable source where each translated and edited version of the Divine Comedy has been uploaded with commentary. It is up-to-date, but only draws from the primary source text on the Dartmouth Dante Project (as explicitly mentioned on the page).

The page could include some information drawn from secondary sources as well, such as medieval commentaries or historical documents. Benvenuto da Imola's commentary on the Divine Comedy is an example of further information the writer could add to the Ciampolo Wikipedia page.

As for tone, there were some adjectives and nouns in the summary section that could use adjusting to sound more neutral. "Grafter" is a noun to describe the sinners who are guilty of barratry; "corrupt deals" is a term used to describe what they did during their living years. The use of these phrases implies slight bias towards Dante. Even if Dante wrote the Divine Comedy, its summary and analysis on Wikipedia should be neutral.

There are no vocabulary errors, but there are a few grammatical fixes that could be made (example: breaking down sentences that are too long). There was also a link to the word "wastrel" which I found unnecessary because it could be replaced with drunk, irresponsible, etc.

The painting of Ciampolo escaping the Malebranche encapsulates Ciampolo very well but the caption could use some work. There is no period at the end of the description, and no source of the painting's title or name of an artist.

Other than being categorized as "stub-class" and "low importance" on the various WikiProjects the page is part of, the Talk Page is empty. Overall, I'd suggest the article is short and incomplete. There is plenty of room to add more secondary and tertiary information on interpretations of Ciampolo, rather than simply summarizing his origins (there is little information on this) and what he does in the Divine Comedy.