User:Austin Tewksbury

Hi Wikipedia!

I hope that someday we will be as one. I am going to do whatever it takes to legally marry you (yes you, Wikipedia) as part of an elaborate and fun way to fundraise for you.

Here is my initial plan: 1) Research marriage to non-humans. 2) Begin courting you to the best of my ability, and document it shamelessly on social media, while more shamelessly touting your value to humanity and soliciting donations to you. 3) Pop the question. This will also be well-documented - but please, no peeking! It should still be a surprise. 4) This part will become a bit clearer once step 1 is complete, but ideally it involves an absolute banger of a wedding. 5) Live happily ever after.

I welcome any and all input from the humans individuals that comprise your hive mind, and I am so excited about this moment to really, truly get to know you.

Yours, Austin Tewksbury