User:Avanisingh94/Sexual and reproductive health/Juliagonsman Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Avanisingh94


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Avanisingh94/Sexual_and_reproductive_health?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sexual and reproductive health

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)


 * 1) What does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? This could be information, writing, etc. that you think your classmate should not change and/or should expand on.
 * 2) This article does a great job of providing information on the sub saharan region, and what difficulties they face. Additionally, the data provided gives great examples of what parts of the population are experiencing challenges when obtaining reproductive healthcare. Additionally, the use of strong quotes helps provide further information about specific issues.
 * 3) Where do you see room for improvement or further development? Make sure to explain why these changes would improve the article.
 * 4) The article is not organized and makes reading it challenging. One way this could be improved is by breaking up the massive paragraph and creating subsections so that the article is easily readable. Additionally, providing more information on maybe why people face these issues, whether it be societal or if they do not have access to the resources.
 * 5) What's the most important thing the authors could do to improve the article?
 * 6) make it more organized, because it is a lot to read and makes it confusing. Additionally, adding in references because there are no citations within the work. Citations are needed as well since it is unknown if the data and information being provided is the writers opinion or facts backed up by reliable resources.
 * 7) Is the article well-organized? Does the structure make sense?
 * 8) The article is not well organized. The structure does not make sense because it is just one massive paragraph. Additionally, the topics bounce around, making it confusing for the reader to obtain information. This could be improved by creating subsections and creating an organized article.
 * 9) Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!
 * 10) I like the use of data, which adds further information and gives the reader concrete evidence. I think the use of this within this article is done very well and emphasizes the real issues.
 * 11) As a reader, what else would you like to know about this topic? [Of course, this information may not be readily available in all cases, but it can help generate interesting directions for their research]
 * 12) I would find it interesting to see any connections between high birth rates and another aspect. I would like to see if the correlations emphasize other aspects such as poor economic status, war, or other issues.

Citations

- There needs to be more citations within the article so that readers can find the source and pull further information on it.

-Additionally the sources are not cited and only links have been provided, making mu ability to check the sources impossible.

neutral content

- More facts rather than stories since it is giving an opinion. As well, more balanced content since there is less information on the causes and more on stories of individuals. The article is not neutral enough and should use more factual information. . Lead section

- there is no planned out lead section which will be good to give the readers an idea of what the article will entail.