User:AvonnaPollard22/Psychological impact of climate change/Filmfanatic88 Peer Review

General info
AvonnaPollard22
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:AvonnaPollard22/Psychological impact of climate change
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Psychological impact of climate change

Evaluate the drafted changes
This sandbox did not make it clear as to what changes were made by the editor. A comparison of the current article and the editor's sandbox allowed me to see the changes, but it was difficult to go back and forth while reviewing the changes. The editor did a great job of changing the first line in the article. "The psychological impacts of climate change on the Earth's inhabitants include emotional states..." is the current first line of the article. The article mentions human emotion so the term "Earth's inhabitants" feels odd. The editor changed the first sentence to read: "The psychological impacts of climate change refer to the effects that climate change can have on individuals’ mental and emotional well-being. These impacts can manifest in various ways and affect people of all ages and backgrounds. Some of the key psychological impacts of climate change include..." This sentence makes it clear to the reader the article is discussing human beings and not squirrels. "Earth's inhabitants" also has an extraterrestrial sound to it as if implying there are inhabitants on other planets in our solar system.

The editor gives a brief history of the psychological impacts of climate change. This is not in the current article and this brief history is needed for context. The writing of this section could be tweaked for more clarity though and all of the sources are cited at the end of this block of the article instead of dispersed throughout the section. This means it is information from 3 sources, however, it is best to have some citation after certain sentences instead of putting at the end of a paragraph. But, I did notice this is an issue in the actual article already. Maybe this is something the editor could clean up.

The editor also added a segment describing how climate change affects different groups of people such as communities of color, children, and adolescents. This makes it so the lead matches with the sections that cover these groups later in the article. The lead should give indication to some of the sections it will include. The editor also removed where the lead went into detail about what direct vs indirect effects are. This was a justified removal because these topics have their own segments within the article.

Overall, I think this editor made some great contributions. The writing could be more concise and the citation of information needs to be sprinkled throughout the article.